In the End of the World
by bitezombiesback
Summary: As the battle for Earth approaches, Jane Shepard is declared an enemy of the Alliance. Something strange is going on with her, and it's up to Garrus and the rest of the crew to help her sort out her troubled past. Shakarian fluff warnings. Starts in game 2.
1. Chapter 1: Was it Worth it?

In the End of the World

Chapter 1: Was It Worth It?

* * *

She stared down coolly at the corpse of her father.

The body was stripped, covered only by the thin white sheet draped across its waist. What was left of its face was a pale shade of blue, eyes still wide in shock. The blood on the mangled jaw had congealed, covering a large portion of the neck. An ear was missing. Several bullet holes bore into the chest cavity, and she watched as a coroner worked to remove metal fragments from the lower right ribs.

"It's not confirmed yet, but they suspect he owed money. His blood tested positive for videlicet." The recruiter paused, staring at the silent girl. Her auburn locks concealed her eyes as her head tilted forward to take in the sight; he could not read her expression. "Miss Shepard, I'm sorry for your loss."

"The world will only improve with his death," she replied quietly.

The recruiter shifted uncomfortably. "This is clearly a - er - complicated time for you, but we'd like to assure you that our offer still stands. Alliance needs all the help it can get, particularly from soldiers with your level of expertise. You mentioned before that you had unfinished business with your father, so we thought that now, since he's dead -" He cut off with a horrified, garbled noise. "Ma'am, I apologize. That sounded extremely insincere. For the record, Alliance did not commission me to make that statement. It was a slip on my own part, and I -"

She straightened up, grey eyes locking with his. "You were right." Her voice was light, despite the gravity of her words. "There really is nothing holding me to this godforsaken rock anymore."

* * *

"Shepard, wake up. Jane, wake up. Commander, wake up." A pause. "Your crew needs you." Another pause. "Damn it to hell, Commander, if you don't wake your ass up this minute, the Collectors will be the very least of your problems!"

Her eyes fluttered open. Miranda was leaning over her. Black hair tickled her arm before the Cerberus worker drew back.

Jane Shepard took a deep breath and leaned forward into an upright position in her chair. She rubbed at her eyes and peered at the face in front of her. Even through blurry, half-conscious eyes, the look of scorn directed at her was not easily missed.

"Fifteen minutes before landing and you thought you'd take a nap?" The brunette shook her head. "Get it together, Shepard. You need rest, and you need to present yourself as a respectable leader to your squad. I don't want to involve the Illusive Man in this, but you're not leaving me with much wiggle room."

"Sorry," Jane muttered, still shaking off sleep. "Can't sleep at night. Getting these dreams that won't stop, won't let me rest -"

"Well, you should have gone to the medical bay for a sleep aid," Miranda rebuked. "Seriously, Shepard. Who's going to follow you into battle after watching you snore, mouth wide open, through a Counsil meeting that's currently being delayed for your egotistical little nap?"

"You've made your point, Miranda," came a deep, collected voice from across the room.

Jane looked to see her favorite Turian standing in the doorway to the Main Battery. Garrus' blue armor, despite its recent encounter with a certain gunship on Omega, appeared to be shiny and new. His expression was stern, a characteristic emphasized by the still-raw wounds on the right side of his face. His arms were crossed, and he leaned against the door frame, indicating a possible limp. Despite the frustration building silently within her at the admonishment she was receiving, a smile tugged at the corner of Jane's mouth at the sight of her old friend. She quickly disguised it.

Miranda's mouth tightened. "The entire fate of humanity is resting in the hands of someone incapable of maintaining consciousness."

"Exactly," Garrus reasoned, taking a step into the small office. "She's carrying the weight of her world on her shoulders. Fifteen minutes of repose is not much for her to ask in return. Let her have a few minutes of peace now and again."

Miranda stared him down in cold silence, then threw a quick glare at Jane before turning heel and marching back to her office.

"Ugh. I owe you one," Jane groaned, hoisting herself out of the chair.

Garrus grinned, walking over to the Mess Hall tables where she had been sitting. "Try not to be too hard on Miranda, Shepard. It's not easy being hated by everyone on the ship. It's her job to nag, not her choice."

"Too hard on her?!" Jane repeated incredulously. "I didn't show the tiniest hint of backbone in that conversation. I just took her crap, same as always. What would you suggest for next time, bowing down to her and begging for forgiveness?"

Garrus chuckled. "Relax. It's a joke."

Jane's shoulders eased a bit. "Oh. Ha ha... I guess."

An awkward silence fell upon them, and Jane stared out the window. They had already arrived at the Citadel. How had she slept through the landing? She shook her head at herself. She really needed a decent night's sleep, especially with the new IFF adjusting rapidly to the Normandy's human-Turian technology. A battle was coming, and she needed to be ready for it.

Garrus cleared his throat uncomfortably, drawing her focus back to reality. She noted his tension, and supposed that she frequently had this effect on others. "Ah, if you'll excuse me, Commander... That gun isn't going to calibrate itself." Without further ado, he retired back to the Main Battery, the doors sliding shut behind him with a soft chime.

* * *

(A/N): Yes, I edited and made some changes so the layout of the ship is still true-to-story. Shep doesn't get an office anymore. Keep reading! It only gets better from here, and the chapters get longer too.


	2. Chapter 2: The Breaking Point

In the End of the World

Chapter 2: The Breaking Point

* * *

As it turned out, Miranda had been wrong; the Council had started the meeting without Shepard. Councilman Udina's assistant escorted Jane into the Audience Chamber, where Udina and the other three Councilmen conversed.

"Commander Shepard," Udina greeted her, as she approached the Petitioner's Stage.

"Udina," she replied informally, forgoing titles. "What's going on?"

"As we had already begun to discuss, you are a very... free-spirited being," the Salarian Councilman replied to her with a disapproving look.

Jane cocked an eyebrow at her. "Excuse me?"

"What my fellow Councillor means to say," the Turian Councilman clarified, "Is that here on Citadel, we try to maintain a calm environment. Not only does it make our jobs easier, but it allows us to spend our time fixing real problems rather than widespread panic caused by a former Spectre, of all people."

She stared blankly into his golden eyes. "You think I -" She cut off the angry stream of words before it could entirely escape her, taking a deep, slow breath. "Let me get this straight. You are accusing me of intentionally causing mass hysteria, and simultaneously denying all evidence that says this galaxy is a ticking time bomb for a Reaper attack?" Although the question began smoothly, by the end, her voice was shaking. Her palms clenched tightly, fingernails digging into her calloused flesh.

"Of course not," the Asari Counsillor reasoned. "We don't think you're doing it on purpose. What you do outside of the Citadel is your own personal business, Shepard." She leaned forward, engaging the Commander on a slightly more personal level. "As long as we don't find you breaking any laws." She straightened up again, professionalism returning. "But what you're doing out there isn't staying out there. It's coming back to the Citadel and demanding our attention."

Udina cleared his throat. "It is difficult to say this, Shepard, but we need you to stop provoking these people. In exchange for your cooperation, we'd be happy to install a few upgrades to the Normandy, and even replace your implants for newer, even stronger biotic technology."

"So, Jane said slowly. "You're bribing me to lie to people and tell them their lives aren't in danger?

"We hate to say it that way, but essentially, yes."

* * *

A scream tore through the peaceful walls of the Normandy. Garrus recognized the voice at once. He'd never heard a scream from her before. His head felt cloudy, almost dizzyingly so. He'd gone up against a Reaper with Shepard before. He'd watched her float off into space from the wreckage of the first Normandy, with punctured air valves. The Commander had taken bullet after bullet fighting the Geth, and never before had she emitted more than a hiss of pain. He could only begin to imagine the horror she faced now to draw such a reaction from the fearless soldier.

Without a moment's hesitation,he grabbed the heavy pistol from the table near him, darting out of the main battery. He cautiously looked about the deck, listening for further clues as to the origin of the cry. A huge banging sound came from overhear, reverberating through the metal floors beneath his feet.

Another scream; this one longer. Torturous. He sprinted toward the elevator, reaching it just as the doors opened. One of the engineers shot out of it so fast that Garrus was almost knocked over.

Before the Turian could open his mouth to ask, the engineer was gone. Just as well; Garrus' mouth had gone dry. He wasn't sure he could produce words. He scrambled into the elevator and pressed the large button with the number two on it. The elevator doors shut, and it slowly began to creep upward toward to Deck Two. The ascension only took a few seconds, but it felt like hours. Had he not been in such a state of fear, he might have muttered something to himself about faster-than-light technology on a ship with an elevator slower than the line outside Afterlife.

The doors finally swished open, and he stuck his head out... To be narrowly missed by a glowing orange console, cords shredded and dangling from it. He looked toward the source of the projectile, gun aimed carefully, to see Jane attempting to pry another console out of the Combat Information Center. Words were pouring out of her mouth in an angry stream too quick and growled for his translator to make sense of. he stared at the Commander in shock, as her tirade increased in pitch until she let out another shriek, this time unleashing biotic powers unto the surrounding mechanics.

"Commander...?" he asked, alarmed.

At the sound of his voice she turned in his direction, snarling, and used her power to throw him back into the elevator without a preceding thought. His armor made a loud crash as he collided with the elevator wall, groaning.

The force of the blow had caused his leg to ache again, worsening his remaining wounds from his stand-off on Omega. The scab on his face had cracked, and a small amount of blood leaked down the side of his face.

He groaned again, picking himself up. Before he could consider what action to take next, Jane was on him, pinning him to the wall. Her eyes wide and full of worry, she scanned him for damage.

"Oh, God, Garrus... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that." She noticed the blood on his face and her eyes began to shimmer. "God. I am such a mess. I can't believe I attacked you like that."

"It's... alright, Shepard," he replied.

She could hear something unusual in his sub-harmonics, which she determined to either be pain or irritation. She sighed and stepped back, slumping against the adjacent elevator wall with her hands clutching at her copper scalp in frustration.

"What happened?" he asked gently, the tone in his sub-harmonics almost... Disappointed? She had to be reading him wrong. Maybe after the Reapers were gone, she'd take a class on Turian body-language.

She inhaled deeply. "I'm not welcome to the Citadel anymore."

He stared at her for a moment, considering what she'd said. "Well, if you destroyed their CIC like you did ours, I'm not surprised they'd feel that way about you being there."

As distraught as she was, Jane actually chuckled. "Well, I didn't, but now I'm thinking I should go back."

Garrus began to relax and slowly, favoring his injured leg, slid to the elevator floor beside his Commander. "What trouble did you get into this time?"

She sighed. "They tried to bribe me to keep the public in the dark about the Reapers." She looked up at him, and could see the anger in his eyes. "Of course, I said no."

Garrus nodded. "That's my girl." For some reason, Jane's heart jumped. "And then they kicked you out?"

"Well, not exactly," she admitted sheepishly. "I may have cursed at them, and pulled out a gun and yelled, 'How's this for provoking people, Udina?' while waving it in his face..."

Garrus threw his head back and laughed, the mirthful sound echoing in the small space. Jane blushed, but then she began to giggle too.

"I thought the Dalatrass might piss her ceremonial robes," the Commander smiled wryly.

Garrus' laughter faded, and his expression grew pensive. Jane eyed him tentatively.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking that if anyone has a chance at saving this galaxy, it's you."

She smiled and punched him lightly on the arm. The two lapsed into silence, but this time it was the comfortable silence of two friends who needed no words between them.


	3. Chapter 3: The Aftermath

In the End of the World

Chapter 3: The Aftermath

* * *

"What. The shit. Did you do?"

Shepard winced and peered at her pilot, who leaned heavily on her. She'd had to assist him to the CIC in order for him to assess the damage for himself. Clearly he was not pleased.

Joker's face was filled with shock as he withdrew from Jane's arm, limping to the sparking and shattered control center.

"She went ballistic when the Counsil declared her an enemy of the Alliance," Jack grinned.

Jane turned to look at the biotic, who positively glowed.

"I'll admit, Shepard, I had my doubts about you when I first agreed to help you. But this -" she gestured to the ruin "- this is pure bad-assery. I didn't know you had that kind of biotic power."

Jane shrugged, embarrassed. "I got a lot of training, but it never really stuck. Still, once in a while, I get really angry and -"

"And become a psychotic, all-powerful bitch?" Jack finished for her.

"Psychotic bitch is on cue, at least," Joker muttered.

"Hey," Jane protested softly, almost a little hurt. "I actually did have a reason for... this."

He turned to look at her. "Go on."

"When Cerberus gave me this ship, I - and everyone else aboard - gave up pretty much all rights to privacy. Our mail is monitored. Our location is broadcasted every fifteen minutes to Cerberus. There are at least two cameras in every room on every deck."

His eyebrows shot up. "Even the bathrooms and cabins? That's sick."

Shepard nodded gravely. "And it's a lot of information about us. It would be very easy for someone at Cerberus to make a lot of money by selling that information to Alliance... Just in case matters deteriorate further, and they place a warrant on me."

"Let me guess: you were trying to take out the tracking devices and other automated status updates that Cerberus could be watching?"

She nodded, and he snorted.

"What's so funny?" she frowned.

"Commander?"

"Yeah?"

"You fucked up the wrong terminals."

This time Shepard kept her cool. "I meant to do that."

"You meant to destroy the sensors that help us actually see where we go when the Normandy hits faster than light speeds? You meant to ground us in Alliance territory? You MEANT to disable our main guns and leave us blind and helpless in the lair of someone who calls us an enemy?"

She grimaced. "Okay, you got me." A sigh escaped her lips. "How long before we are fully functional again?"

"Well, the only place around is the Citadel. We can still fly, but the closest planet to us is..." He punched a few commands into one of the few working terminals. "A week away, at the speed we'd need to travel to avoid hitting other ships, or other space junk. Plus, all we can really do in case of enemy fire is roll over. If we encountered hostiles, we'd be toast."

Jane considered her options. "Well, obviously I can't go back to the Citadel... But that doesn't mean my crew can't!" Her face lit up. "Let's send out Adams and Donnelly. They know tech basics, so they will know what to look for, and they are far less recognizable than our squad members, who get out of the ship a lot more often."

Just as Joker was about to reply that he approved of the plan, the elevator door slid open behind them.

"Commander, we have a problem," Garrus announced. "I was just in the main battery trying to calibrate the guns, but our system is offline. I tried a hard reset, but no luck."

Joker pointed an accusing finger at Jane. "Blame her for that murderous temper-tantrum she threw." He turned away and headed slowly back to the cockpit.

Jane glanced behind her again, but Jack had grown bored of their conversation and left. She was alone in front of the elevator with Garrus again.

The Turian frowned. "I think my translator may be malfunctioning also. To think, I had it updated just last month..."

Jane shook her head, smiling a little. "I think your translator just didn't pick up the phrase 'temper-tantrum.' What Joker meant to say is that when I went off on the terminals, I broke a lot more than I meant to."

"You... Disabled our guns?"

Jane nodded.

Garrus paused for a moment before speaking, his voice a touch sad: "But what am I going to calibrate now?"

She laughed. "Nothing, at the moment. There's nothing we can do right now but wait. I'm going to send Adams and Donnelly to the Citadel for the parts we need, then we can get moving. However, I have a sinking feeling that the stores won't carry all the parts we need. The shipping might take a few days so... Take a break, Vakarian."

He blinked at her. "A... break?"

"Come on," she smiled mischievously. "I know just the thing to loosen you up."

She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the elevator, pressing the top button.

"We're going to your cabin?" He sounded surprised, and perhaps a little nervous.

"Relax, Vakarian. You knew this was bound to happen someday."

The elevator halted and she opened the door to her quarters. Garrus watched from the elevator, unmoving. Just as the doors began to shut again, Jane glanced back at him from her room.

"Are you coming in or not?"

The doors now closed in front of him, Garrus took a few deep breaths, swallowed, and pressed the "open door" button to see Jane's disappointed expression turn to an excited grin.

"I thought you were going to bail on me."

"Shepard - ah, Commander - sorry for the hesitation. This is just a bit sudden."

She snorted. "Come on. Don't be such a wuss. It's just another way to pass the time." She moved from the hall into her living space, and knelt down behind the counter, retrieving something.

"Garrus, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this," her voice came warmly from the other side of the cabin.

His mouth went dry as he began removing his armor and setting it by the door.

She heard the clank his chest plate made on her tiled floor. "Oh, go ahead and make yourself comfortable, by the way."

"How long is that, Jane?"

"Since that day you bought it for us," she answered, popping up from behind he counter with four heavy bottles of liquor in her small arms. Her face filled with confusion. "Did you just call me Jane?"

He stared at her, full of shock, with a carefully blank expression, remembering their last trip to the Citadel.

[ _He'd bought some top-shelf wine and brandy for each of them, and presented them to Shepard. She had been pleasantly surprised and asked what the occasion was._

_"For defeating Saren," he'd replied._

_She'd cocked her head to the side. "How do you know we will?"_

_He had shrugged. "If we don't, then I didn't need the spare credits anyway. But I have a feeling that this mission won't be the last I see of you. A team like us Shepard? No one can tear us apart." _]

"Vakarian. Hello? Palaven to Garrus."

He snapped back into the present to see a pale, baffled human face inches from his own. She looked a little worried.

"What's going on?" she questioned. "You're acting as if you've already had a few too many, and I haven't even opened the bottles yet."

"Ah, sorry, I was just lost in thought." He looked down in embarrassment at the armor he had strewn onto the floor, but she didn't seem to notice his mistaken conclusion about her plans for the night.

"Alright," she said skeptically, turning away, back to the living area. "Maybe we should hold off on the drinks then..."

"No, actually, I think a drink is exactly what I need right now," he replied quickly.

"Great." She smiled at him, and he was suddenly very conscious that she had never seen him out of his armor, and that no woman had seen him in his underclothes since he'd met Shepard - although she probably had no way of knowing what Turian underclothes looked like, and most likely assumed they were normal attire. She handed him a glass and a bottle. "Let's get you out of that big, spiky head for once."

* * *

(A/N): Thanks for reading and reviewing! Again, suggestions for future plot are welcome and will be credited.


	4. Chapter 4: Dumb and Drunk

In the End of the World

Chapter 4: Dumb and Drunk

* * *

Though Shepard didn't know how the Turian drinks were, she found the human wine to be quite excellent. To be fair, the high quality of it was probably wasted on her; Shepard drank infrequently. Her career simply did not allow her the time.

Even had she been a wine connoisseur , she would not have given the drink much of a thought other than "more" after finding her most loyal friend and the ship's best soldier stripped down to his skivvies just inside the door of her cabin.

Jane was a smarter woman than most. When Garrus' almost sensual reply, "How long is that, Jane?" drifted to her from across the cabin, she knew something was wrong. He never called her by her first name. Then to find him half-undressed? She put the pieces together while he stared at her, dumb-founded, as he saw the bottles in her arms. She had started to panic.

Just as she was about to address the situation, Garrus had sort of frozen in place. She'd started to say, "Garrus, I really don't -" but stopped at the look on his face. He was miles away. She'd blinked a few times, then waved her hand in front of his face.

"Vakarian. Hello? Palaven to Garrus."

Just as she became aware of his warm breath touching her lips in their close proximity, her eyes began to travel downward from his face to the rest of his form, covered only by a thin layer of cloth. At that moment, he came to with a look of shock and perhaps disappointment.

"What's going on?" she'd asked, trying to sound neutral as she withdrew from the warmth of his body heat. "You're acting as if you've already had a few too many, and I haven't even opened the bottles yet."

She watched him glance down at his discarded attire anxiously as he made some sort of bullshit excuse that she wasn't listening to. She suggested cancelling their evening together, and started to walk away so he could put his clothes on, but he didn't do it. How could he possibly have known that Jane had seen the vids, and that she knew exactly how Turian undergarments differed from casual-wear? He was trying to save himself embarrassment.

So she turned back to him and smiled a response. Fine. If he wanted to play chicken, she wasn't going to back down and spare him the humiliation of admitting what he had assumed she wanted to do with him.

This is how Garrus Vakarian came to be half-naked and holding a glass of fine Turian brandy in his commander's private cabin.

"Why don't you take a seat?" she suggested from the comfort of the couch.

Garrus hesitated before joining her. He was not normally self-conscious; he knew he was an attractive Turian. For some strange reason, he still felt his heart begin to race and his muscles tense up. He suddenly realized that if Shepard were to find out he was in his underwear, she might be extremely offended. Oh, well. He was in too deep now to make her suspicious by bailing out. Besides, he really did want to be there. With her.

So, with great effort, he forced his feet to transport him to the couch, fervently reminding himself that Jane Shepard was just one woman. Unfortunately, Garrus had no idea what he was in for.

"So," she smiled as he sat a few feet from her, "How is life? We haven't really had the chance to talk for a long time."

He nodded. "Probably not since -"

"Since I died?"

He nodded again, looking down. "Shep, you have no idea what it was like."

She stared at him. "Dying?"

"No, watching you die. It was like losing a family member." He sounded pained, and it made her uneasy.

"The ugly, miniature-sized cousin?" she supposed jokingly, trying to relieve the tension.

"Why would you call yourself ugly?" he demanded.

She shrugged. "By Turian standards, I meant."

He wanted to tell her that she was beautiful by any standards. Instead, he settled with, "Turians don't really find humans so unattractive as you might think."

She let it go. "Speaking of family, you've never mentioned yours. Do you have one?"

"Everyone has some kind of family, don't they?" he snorted.

"I don't," she murmured.

He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, Shepard. That was an asinine thing to say."

"It's alright."

They were quiet for a few moments, during which they both drank deeply.

"What happened?"

Jane sighed. "My mom was in Alliance. She went MIA when I was about ten years old. I hardly remember her. And my father," she almost growled the word, "didn't really give a shit. He died when I was eighteen. That's when I joined Alliance." She downed the rest of her drink, and stared absently into the pattern of the wood grain on her coffee table.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," she replied sincerely.

"What was it like being dead?"

She pursed her lips. "Quiet, I guess. All I remember is floating away from the wreckage of the Normandy, realizing my air tank was punctured. I was thanking the deities that my end would be quick, rather than hours of floating in the void, helpless, before I inevitably reached the same fate. Then I held my breath until my vision went dark... And suddenly I was waking up in Cerberus labs."

He shook his head in amazement. "I don't know how or why they did it, but I'm glad they brought you back."

"Why's that? So you can pretend to snipe from twenty yards back while I do all the grunt work?" she smirked.

"Excuse me? If you went charging into battle like usual but without me covering your ass, you wouldn't last five minutes.

"Not true," she protested, shoving him as he laughed. "When's the last time you head-butted a Krogan?"

"You are pretty tough for such a tiny little thing," he grinned at her, mandibles pulling back to expose rows of long, sharp teeth. It was a little creepy.

"Garrus?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you out of your armor before."

He choked on the brandy. "Uh, yeah. I just didn't want to risk spilling alcohol on it. Might warp the paint."

"Are regular Turian clothes always made so thin?" she asked, a gleam forming in her eye that he didn't notice.

If he were capable of it, he'd have blushed. "Um, yeah. Palaven is hot."

"So is that why you always wear so much armor around the ship? Because it's hot? I just think it's weird that you clearly have some casual clothes on board with you, but you always wore them with armor over them until now."

That did it. Her questioning had become too obvious, and she saw his eyes widen slightly as he realized that she knew he was in only his underwear. Drat. She'd wanted to string him along for a while longer.

He was quick on his feet. "Well, to be honest, these are underclothes. The armor was just feeling uncomfortable, and I knew you probably wouldn't mind," he lied, knowing all the while that she probably saw through him. "Are we good enough friends for that?"

She had a new idea. "Garrus, turn around."

"Why?"

"I said turn around, dammit."

He complied, looking confused.

Jane watched him for a moment to ensure that he really intended to obey, then got up and dipped into her wardrobe. She quickly slipped off her commander garb and replaced it with a T-shirt and a pair of underwear.

"Okay, you can turn back."

He pivoted to face her again. He met her gaze at first, then she watched as his eyes dropped to take in the rest of her body. She felt a heat creep up into her cheeks as he stared at her.

"Is that human underwear?"

She nodded, not trusting her words.

"I like it."

Suddenly the game had flipped, and she was the one feeling awkward and exposed. She blamed the alcohol for this poorly thought-out plan.

It was true; her head was beginning to swim. She headed back to the couch, stumbling slightly along the way, and accidentally fell into him.

He caught her, laughing, and helped her sit next to him. "Maybe you've had too much to drink."

"Maybe I haven't had enough," she muttered, shooting a glare at him.

He shrugged and poured himself another glass. "What is it humans call someone who can't hold their liquor again? Oh, that's right. You're a lightweight."

It was lucky that he had set his glass down.

"Buddy, I will tear off those stupid mandibles," she threatened, lunging at him.

Garrus grabbed his attacker by both wrists, and she struggled with him, trying to force her fist toward him. It didn't work.

She gave up, signaling her defeat by allowing her body to go slack, and he dropped her wrists in surprise; she was now slumped against his chest.

He didn't dare move. She was half on him, and half dangling off the couch. It seemed like a very uncomfortable position for her to be in, but he'd never really touched Shepard before today, and this seemed like something called 'hugging' that he'd seen humans do before. He wasn't sure what to do with it.

For a whole minute neither of them spoke or moved, before he realized that her breathing had become deep and that she had fallen asleep against him.

He sighed and stood, scooping her into his arms. He walked to the bed somewhat haphazardly, realizing that the alcohol had affected him more than he'd known. He laid Jane onto her bed carefully, then gently pulled one of the blankets on top of her.

She mumbled something too quiet for him to hear.

"What?" he asked softly, but she had already drifted off again.

He began to make his way to the door, swaying, before deciding that he'd rather sleep off his intoxication on the couch than pass out on the unreasonably long elevator ride down to deck three.

Garrus altered his course of direction, and instead headed toward the couch. He was asleep the moment his head touched the fabric.

* * *

(A/N): See? We finally got to the Shakarian fluff. This was an unusual chapter, and far more goofy than it was intended to be. Hopefully the humor is appreciated, although the next chapter should be a bit more serious.


	5. Chapter 5: Little Do They Know

In the End of the World

Chapter 5: Little Do They Know

* * *

Sometime during the night Garrus woke to a strange noise. He was still in Shepard's cabin, laying on the couch. He fought off sleep and sat up, glancing to her bed, but she was gone.

_"Ch-chk, pshhww."_

The sound was coming from her desk. He walked over, still slightly buzzed, to see Jane crouched under her desk, holding a vacuum cleaner attachment-brush. She was garbed only in a T-shirt and underpants.

She aimed the brush past him and made motions as if to cock and shoot it. _"Ch-chk, pshww. Ch-Chk, pshhww."_

"Shepard, what the hell -"

"Vakarian, take cover," she mumbled, still staring past him, half-lidded.

"Did you drink that Turian brandy after I dozed off?" he asked, worried. "You know that stuff is toxic to humans."

"Cover my six," she ordered, laying down and rolling pathetically out of her hiding spot.

She sat up again in the hall, firing her imaginary shotgun at the fish tank. He stared at her, incredulous, noticing that her eyes were unfocused and dilated.

"EDI, can you hear me in here?"

"Yes," the feminine mechanical voice replied.

"Is there something I should know about whatever the hell is going on with Shepard?"

"Analyzing behavior. Target: Jane Shepard. Running background check."

He tapped his foot impatiently as Shepard threw a grenade (a rolled up sock) at the tank and ran back to cover.

"According to my files on human biology, she is sleepwalking," EDI finally responded.

"Sleepwalking?" Garrus repeated. "What's that?"

"I'm out of ammo. Switching weapons! _Pew pew pew._"

"Sleepwalking is a condition in which humans begin to move around while they are dreaming."

_"Pew pew pew pew."_

"So she's asleep?"

"Yes, however -"

Garrus grabbed her shoulders and shook her, shouting, "Shepard! Wake up!"

She spun around and threw an overload at him, dropping him to his knees as his body shook with electrical current. As it subsided, he collapsed in a heap, still twitching slightly.

"As I was saying, it is inadvisable to wake a sleepwalker."

"Thanks a bunch," he said dryly as Shepard returned to innocently trying to shoot her fish.

"So how am I supposed to help her?"

"Try coaxing her into a different dream," EDI advised. "The most effective way is to capture her attention with something she's interested in. Try not to speak loudly or touch her."

"Alright." He thought about it. "EDI, what is Shepard interested in?"

"My records reflect her military profile, her personal history, and her recent purchases. I have no data about Commander Shepard's interests."

"Okay, what about her purchases, then?"

"Loading... Two weeks ago, thirteen hundred hours: four koi fish. Five days ago, eight hundred hours: ten 'Practically Indestructible' brand dragonfish. Yesterday, eleven hundred hours: 'Keep My Fish Alive' brand automated food dispenser."

"She got kicked out of Citadel and stopped on the way back to buy a fish feeder?" He shook his head, groaning.

He approached her slowly and spoke quietly. "Shepard, how are your fish? Did you feed your fish?"

"Oh, God, my fish!" She ran to the food dispenser and pressed the button frantically, flooding the tank with food. "Don't die, please don't die," she muttered, continuing to press the button as the food began to cloud the water.

"Shepard, wait! You're going to kill the fish! Ugh, okay, new subject. Er, hey, look over here! I found this awesome... plant."

"Don't care about plants," she mumbled.

"Well, then, uh, Tali wants to talk to you. Isn't that right, Tali?"

Shepard paused, so he continued in a high-pitched voice: "Yes, that's right. It's me, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. With my face mask and my environmental suit to boot."

"No time now, Tali," she grumbled. "Fish keep dying."

"Well, what _do_ you have time for?" he demanded, growing frustrated.

"Garrus."

"_What_, Shepard?!"

"No." She scrunched her face, sleeping mind struggling to follow the train of thought, and turned toward him. "Time for Garrus."

His eyes widened. "But Tali is your best friend. Why not her?"

"Because Garrus."

Jane, growing exhausted from the conversation, slid down the wall into a seated position. He sat beside her, recalling how they'd sat next to each other like this on the elevator when she'd held her head in her hands, guilt-ridden over hurting him. How she'd pinned him against the wall, green eyes panicked.

"What about Garrus?" he asked, his heart pounding.

"Turian."

Well, that really cleared things up.

"Sarcastic," she continued, to his surprise. "Confident. Morals. Funny. And... good." She sighed, leaning her head onto his shoulder and closing her eyes. He watched her as she slid into a restful state of sleep, still pressed close to his body.

"Garrus Vakarian recorded as new interest."

"EDI!" he hissed. "That is not appropriate by _any_ stretch of the imagination!"

"Noted," she replied. "Logging you off."

Garrus wondered bitterly when EDI had become such a smart-ass.

* * *

(A/N): It's going to get more realistic again. I promise. Don't start throwing things at me yet! *ducks*


	6. Chapter 6: Ominous

In the End of the World

Chapter 6: Ominous

* * *

The next morning, Jane woke to a pounding on the door. She lept up from her bed as a frustrated Tali barged into the cabin.

"Shepard, it happened again. I know you don't want any cameras that Alliance or Cerberus can access, but we should at least have someone on duty at night to keep watch."

She eyed Jane, who was looking nervously at something behind the counter where the couch was located.

"Put on some pants if you're that worried, but you know I'm not interested in women!" the Quarian fumed.

"It's not that," Jane replied in a strangled voice.

Tali moved farther into the room to see what lay on the couch that had her friend as white as a sheet. There, clothed only in his underpants, slept the ship's only Turian.

"Keelah, Shepard!" she hissed. "How much did you drink last night?!"

"I don't remember!" Jane wailed.

Garrus began to stir and they panicked, rushing outside of the cabin, and stopping in front of the elevator.

"Did you two -"

"I don't know!"

Blurred memories shot through her mind: talking to Joker on deck two; getting out the alcohol Garrus had bought for them two years ago; seeing her close friend half naked; laying intimately against Garrus in only her underwear.

"Holy crap, Tali. I think we did."

"Do you love him?" she demanded impatiently.

"God, no! I'm not sure I even... Well, I guess he's sort of... Shit, Tali, he's a Turian! How would we..." she trailed off as Tali made a scoffing sound.

"Shepard, it's me. I know you watched those vids."

"I got too embarrassed when they started taking off their clothes and turned it off before anything happened!"

Tali was quiet for a moment, thinking. "You need to decide what you want to do about this. Don't talk to him about it until you have made up your mind. So sneak in there, grab some clothes, and meet me in Engineering. I have more to report, but that can wait until we get this mess sorted out."

Shepard nodded, shock still evident on her face.

Tali shook her head, stepping into the elevator. "I suppose it was only a matter of time," she said with a smile evident in her voice.

Before Jane could ask what she meant, the doors closed.

Thankfully, when Jane stealthily entered her cabin, Garrus was still asleep. She grabbed the first outfit she found and practically sprinted out the door. However, her good luck had run out.

She had thrown on her pants already, but just as she was slipping on her bra, the elevator doors opened and Jacob stepped out.

"Fuck," she cursed quietly.

He was very professional, and only stared for a brief second before turning around.

"Commander?" he asked hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it. Let's pretend that didn't happen. Now, what did you need?"

"I just wanted you to -"

"Jacob. You can turn back around."

"Yes, Ma'am." He turned back to face his now fully-clothed commander. "I just wanted you to know that in addition to the cameras, I found several mics hidden. If now is a good time, I'd like to also search your room again for anything I might have missed the first time."

"It is not a good time right now. I'll let you know, okay?"

He nodded. "Comm me when you're ready." He turned back to the elevator.

Just as he pressed the button, Shepard heard movement from the cabin. Shit. They must have woken him up.

At the last moment possible, she dove through the shutting doors, then hurriedly pressed the "close door" button.

"Do not ask," she said threateningly.

He clamped his mouth shut. They both stared at the illuminated number above the doors for several seconds.

"Come on, you stupid machine!" Shepard punched the wall.

The number changed with a "ding." Floor two. Great.

"Commander, is it true you picked up Garrus Vakarian with your bare hands and threw him into the wall?" he asked, gesturing to the Turian-sized dent.

"Biotics," she corrected. "Asshole deserved it."

He went silent again. Everything seemed to be a touchy subject to her today. When they reached the next floor, he exited with a nod and a quiet, "Commander."

He turned back around as soon as he turned the doors close, and stood by the elevator, listening. A moment later, he heard the elevator zoom past again, heading up. She'd gotten off on Engineering, then, probably to talk to Tali.

He walked away a bit and played with his omni-tool to look less conspicuous, but kept the elevator in his line of vision. When the elevator "dinged" a minute later and a tired and bewildered-looking Garrus stumbled out, Jacob's suspicions were confirmed. He clenched his fists, but walked away.

"Not yet," he muttered to himself darkly.

* * *

(A/N): Yay, Tali's finally here. Thanks for the reviews! I'll try to keep updating quickly. Sorry it's another short chapter. Since you guys like the humor, I'll keep it going throughout the story, although it will be taking a darker turn soon. Advice still welcome, and follow for more adventure!


	7. Chapter 7: Decisions

In the End of the World

Chapter 7: Decisions

* * *

"It's not what I need right now. I just... I don't know. Shit, I've never even had a successful relationship before, and the last thing this ship needs is for its leader to be off dealing with alien boyfriends while all this Collector business gets real."

Shepard had headed immediately to Engineering in order to discuss her predicament with Tali. The two were mostly alone on the deck; Grunt was in cargo and Jack was downstairs, so no one was around to hear their conversation.

Tali nodded. "That's true, but we also need a leader who's happy. I know you. You'll try to shove everything in your life aside to save the world, but it doesn't work like that. You can't save everyone else unless you save yourself first."

Jane sighed. "I have no idea what to do. I don't know the first thing about Turians." Her eyes widened. "What if I'm carrying his spawn? What if this freaky worm with three hundred teeth pops out of my chest and tries to eat the crew?"

"Shepard, that's impossible."

"I swear to God, Tali, I feel it moving!" She clawed at her flat stomach fearfully as Tali sighed with impatience.

"Turians and humans are totally incompatible. Your chromosomes don't match up at all. You can't make a baby together, or a parasitic worm either."

"Obviously you never watched Alien," Jane muttered.

"Focus, Shepard. Garrus Vakarian. How do you feel when I say that name?"

"I feel... Happy. Safe. But..." She hesitated. "Confused. Maybe hurt."

"Why hurt?" Tali asked, concerned.

"It's nothing. I just noticed this morning that even though I had all but finished off my half of the liquor, the Turian alcohol was hardly touched. It makes me feel... Violated, I guess. Like he let me get drunk and stupid, and then made a move on me. I don't know, maybe there's another explanation, but that lack of respect... Well, it's not something I want to start a relationship with. Not that I could handle a relationship now anyway."

"I think that's your answer, Shep."

Jane looked down. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

They were silent for a few moments.

"I know this is a bad time, but I need to talk to you about the other night when the break room was vandalized."

"Go ahead."

"It happened again last night. The kitchen was totally destroyed. Dishes broken, sink flooded and water spilling all over the floor, cabinets hanging off their hinges... It's like someone locked an angry Krogan in there."

Jane sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, and beginning to feel a throbbing pain in her head. "Who would do that? It doesn't make any sense. For any of our crew to do that, it's just so... Needless."

Tali nodded. "I agree, but it has to be dealt with. We need someone on post at night, since the cameras are gone."

"I trust your judgment. Pick whoever you think would be best. Tell them it's on my authority if they question you."

"Will do, Shepard." She put a hand on Jane's shoulder. "Let me know if you need to talk more about your... Situation. I'll be here." She removed her hand and turned back to her work.

* * *

"Mordin! Just the Salarian I wanted to see."

She had made her rounds of almost the whole ship. This was the last stop on floor two, and floor three was next. Shepard was delaying the inevitable, she knew, but she needed time to gather her resolve before she talked to Garrus.

Mordin looked up at Jane. "Shepard! Glad you're here. Wanted to ask how vids worked out. Creams and salves in Med-Bay in case of... Chaffing."

She blanched. "Uh, I won't be needing that, actually. Or the vids. And please, be discreet about that."

"About vids? Or chaffing? Or both?"

"All of it, the whole situation," she said hurriedly, wanting the conversation to be over.

Mordin frowned. "Relationship with Turian not working out?"

"We never had one!" she squeaked, face red.

"Why ask about vids then?"

"I was, uh, curious. But not anymore. Thanks for the help. I think I'll go now."

"Humans such strange creatures," the Salarian muttered to himself.

* * *

"Hey, Dr. Chakwas. Got a minute?"

"Yes, Commander," the doctor smiled, turning in her chair. "How can I help you?"

"Got anything for a massive hangover?"

Chakwas turned back to her desk and rummaged through the drawers, procuring a small white pill. "Here, this ought to help."

Shepard downed the pill. "Strange of you to keep the medical supplies in your desk drawer with your personal stuff."

"Oh, that wasn't from the Med-Bay. That was from my personal stash. I've had a rather rough morning myself, Commander."

Jane resisted the urge to laugh. "Thanks, Doc. That was all."

* * *

When she could no longer trick herself into avoiding Garrus, Jane began the long walk to the main battery, trudging across the deck as if it were her death march. She half-glanced at Miranda's office with a gleam of hope in her eyes before deciding that what was about to happen with Garrus would be at least twenty times less painful than any conversation with Miranda.

She pressed the button to open the door and, as per usual, it took several seconds to open.

"Fuck Cerberus and it's shit technology," she grumbled. Now that she was here, she wanted to get it over with, and this door was about to give her an anxiety attack.

At last it slid open, and Garrus turned at the sound.

"Shepard," he greeted her cautiously.

She closed the door behind her. "Can we talk?"

Garrus nodded. "I was hoping you'd want to."

They sat down on his cot, an uncomfortably large distance between them.

"So about last night - how did you feel about it?" she asked awkwardly.

"It was strange... But fun. I'm glad you suggested it." He could tell by the look on her face that this wasn't the answer she was looking for.

"I was afraid you'd feel that way."

His stomach dropped. "Shepard, what are you talking about?"

"Look, it was a mistake for you to come up to my room. What happened was very unprofessional, and it won't happen again. I -"

"Unprofessional?" he repeated, a hint of irritation in his voice. "That's what's got you worried - that we work together?"

"Garrus," she said firmly, "We are on a mission that will decide the fate of my entire race. That's more than a little pressure to put on a small handful of people. I need you - and everyone else on this ship - to view me only as a Commander. Is that clear?"

"Yeah. I suppose so." His tone was dead.

"Good." She got up.

"Shepard, I suppose I should mention, something that happened last night -"

"We have nothing more to discuss here," she cut him off smoothly.

His look hardened. "Is that an order?"

"Call it whatever you want," she replied, walking out.

* * *

(A/N): I hate Shepard so much right now. It will get better soon, though. You might have a few questions about what's going on, and feel free to ask, but hopefully the next few chapters will clear that up. Thanks for favoriting/following/reviewing!


	8. Chapter 8: Back in Action

In the End of the World

Chapter 8: Back in Action

* * *

At first, he was shocked and confused. Jane was the one who had brought out the drinks. She was the one who'd had too much, and he had hardly drank at all. Why was she acting like he was the one to blame here?

Then he started to get a little angry. It was such a pathetic excuse to be upset, let alone to call off a friendship over. She wasn't acting like herself. Maybe he'd call her later and talk to her about it, and she would be over it by then.

Then he drank in the reality of the situation. Shepard didn't like him. Most likely, he had freaked her out. Perhaps it was the underwear ordeal. Perhaps something else. Humans had a tendency to be very judgmental of other species, he remembered, and maybe some cultural difference had arisen that had made her look at him differently.

Regardless, she wanted him to leave her alone. He was hurt, yes - but more than anything else, in this moment, he'd been furious.

* * *

She felt horrible. There was a knot in her stomach the size of a varren, and something in her head was directing her to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out.

Jane had paused just outside the main battery to collect herself. She took what should have been deep, calming breaths, but found herself hyperventilating.

She hated the way she had treated Garrus, but she hadn't wanted any lose ends. She wanted to be very clear about her stance and not to lead him on or allow him to believe that maybe after the war they could be together. However, saying those words aloud made her doubt herself even more.

For a moment, she considered crawling back inside and begging him to just hold her, but she was Commander Jane Fucking Shepard and she wasn't about to compromise her self-worth. She didn't need anyone but herself. Not even Garrus.

As Jane made her way to the elevator, she was stopped short by Miranda.

"Commander, what the hell -"

"Not now, Miranda."

Miranda put her hand on her hip. "Then when _were_ you planning to explain to me why you had all our connections to Cerberus severed? Not to mention the control panel you slaughtered."

"I believe I just told you that I don't want to talk," Jane said coldly.

Miranda's eyes widened. Shepard had never spoken to her like that before.

"But... The Illusive Man..."

"If he wants to talk, patch him through. I'm done sending messages back and forth through you."

With that, she strode past Miranda onto the elevator.

Not a minute late, Kelly Chambers cams over her headset. "Commander? The Illusive Man is ready to speak to you."

Jane sighed. Miranda was such a tattle-tale. "On my way."

* * *

"Shepard, Cerberus did not give you this ship so you can do whatever you want with it. Now, you'd better have a good reason for taking our cameras out and for the thousands of credits you did in damage." He blew out a puff of holographic smoke, and Jane was tempted to reach out and wave it away from her.

"Did Miranda fail to mention that Alliance declared me an enemy?" she asked, trying to hide the slight pride she felt.

"They did _what_?"

"I'll take that as a 'yes.' They didn't like the fact that I'm stopping the Collectors. They prefer to believe that the Reapers don't exist, and apparently I'm making that lifestyle hard to hold on to." She left out the part where she had drawn her weapon on the Counsil and threatened them. "I needed to take out the cameras and trackers because I don't need everyone at Cerberus knowing my location if Alliance decides it's worth a lot of credits to find me."

The Illusive Man scoffed. "Alliance does cling to its delusions." His look hardened again. "But let me know before you do something reckless like that again. It would be nice to have a little warning before the Normandy goes totally offline so I know you didn't drive it into a sun or get sucked into a black hole. Although that would be an interesting event to watch unfold on camera..."

"Uh, okay... I'll try to give you a heads up next time. Shepard out."

* * *

EDI's voice came over her headset. "Commander Shepard, Engineers Adams and Donnelly have finished repairing the Normandy's consoles. We are now fit to fly."

"Excellent. Set a course for Tuchanka. I promised Grunt that would be our next stop."

"Good idea, Commander. He is growing very restless."

Shepard was glad that they could finally leave Alliance space. However, a sense of foreboding had filled her after EDI's update. The squad member best suited to fighting Krogans, just in case the mission went awry, was Garrus.

Shepard slumped in her chair. She wanted to see him, but she was terrified. They hadn't spoken a word to each other since she'd told him to look at her as nothing more than his commander. He'd barely left the main battery, and hadn't shown up to a meal. He was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him.

Her finger hovered over the button that would comm Garrus. Regardless of the tension that was going on between them, she trusted him in battle. She'd fought beside him longer than she had with anyone else on that ship. In fights, their movements were perfectly synchronized; he covered her as she moved in, then she'd use minor biotics to take out the enemy's shields. He'd snipe them, and she'd charge in with a shotgun.

She tried to remember this as she took a deep breath and pushed the button.

"Yes, Commander?" He sounded distant and formal.

"We're headed to Tuchannka. The team is you, me, and Grunt. He's been fighting back urges to kill. He's feeling violent - even by Krogan standards - and we need to get him checked out."

"Got it." The comm clicked and he was gone.

* * *

The mission was a quiet one. The awkwardness between Jane and Garrus was evident, but neither spoke of it, and Grunt didn't seem to notice. The shaman they spoke to was unsure about letting Grunt fight in the Rite of Passage since he was tank-born, but agreed with amusement after Shepard head-butted another clan-member that was giving her trouble. This was the second Krogan she'd head-butted.

The Rite was, in Jane's opinion, easy. They killed a few varren and some big, fire-spitting bugs, and then taken down a thresher maw with heavy weapons.

However, the Rite was apparently not enough. The troublesome clan-member from before had gathered a group of Krogans to take Grunt down, because he was tank-born. When they blocked the way, Shepard had ordered them to move.

"You can go, human, but the tank-born can not. It is an abomination."

Jane grew angry. "He is more Krogan than the rest of you combined!" she growled.

She gathered her biotics, fueled by her rage, but for some reason did not release them. The blue glow grew until her whole body was surrounded by it, and then it shot out in a single shockwave that took down the entire group of Krogan before her.

Jane, drained, collapsed.

"Shepard!" Garrus was there, pulling back her eyelid to check responsiveness, monitoring her breathing, and checking to see if she had a pulse.

"She's alive," he informed Grunt, scooping up her small frame in his arms, "but unconscious."

"What the hell was that?" the Krogan demanded.

"I don't know. I've never seen anything like it before." He looked around to ensure there were no more hostiles. "Call the Normandy. Tell them to have the shuttle waiting at the landing pad when we get there. We need to get Shepard some medical attention as soon as possible."

* * *

(A/N): I'm unhappy with the Shep/Garrus drama. Hopefully the "misunderstanding" between them is a little clearer now, though. Sorry if this one jumped around too much, or felt sort of heartless or bland; I hate Miranda and the Illusive Man, and writing about them makes me ragey. Next chapter should be more interesting.


	9. Chapter 9: Recovery

In the End of the World

Chapter 9: Recovery

* * *

Her head was swimming. Her eyes were closed, but she was still dizzy. Sounds echoed strangely, changing in timbre as she tried to listen to the voice.

"Yeah. I've never seen biotics used like that before," he said.

"But Shepard normally doesn't use biotics at all, correct?" a woman asked him.

"Only minimally. Usually just taking down shields. I wouldn't call her a biotic; she's a soldier who has a few minor enhancements."

A silence, in which she could only hear the hum of machines and the sound of deep breathing, which she realized was coming from her.

"What was she trying to do?"

"Not sure. She didn't say what she was doing. The Krogans came at us, like I told you, and she just glows blue and passes out, taking them all out in one blow."

The machines started beeping softly, and she heard movement and some clicking. "Looks like she's starting to wake up. She should be conscious in a few minutes."

"I really should get going," the voice said.

No. Don't leave.

The weight of sleep was pulling her down like a riptide, but she fought it, clawing her way up to the surface.

"I have a few more questions I'd like to ask first," the woman replied. "Was she acting strange before she used her biotics?"

"I don't know, she was quiet. We didn't say much."

"How quiet? Was she able to speak?"

"No, that's not..." The voice was frustrated. "She was quiet for other reasons."

"Anything medically significant?"

"No, she was just having a bad day, I guess," the voice half-lied. "Can I go now?"

"I still have some questions..."

"Comm me later about it."

Jane's eyes flickered open. She could barely make out his retreating form as he exited the Med-Bay. She tried to sit up, to stop him, but her sore muscles protested.

"Shepard, you're awake! Just try to lie still. Do you know where you are?"

"Med-Bay," she replied to Dr. Chakwas, her voice gravelly from sleep. She pulled the oxygen tube from her nose.

"Do you know what happened?"

"No, I..." She struggled to recall. "Is Grunt okay?"

"Yes, he's fine."

"All I remember is that we were about to be attacked." She looked down at herself, evaluating. Two arms, two legs. Nothing broken. "What happened to me? Did I get hit on the head?"

She listened carefuly as Chakwas recounted what had happened, and answered the doctor's questions as best she could.

"I don't know what exactly caused you to pass out, but I'm almost certain it involved your biotics. I advise you to not use them until I've had a chance to research what caused this. I also want you to get as much rest as possible, and no fighting for at least a week."

"A whole week?" Jane protested. "That's ridiculous!"

"I don't want this to happen to you again. We don't know what we're dealing with. It's possible that if you strain yourself like this once more, the shock will send your body into critical condition."

"Well, at least I finally got a few hours of sleep," Jane muttered.

Chakwas frowned. "Hours? Commander, you've been out for three days. We're back at the Citadel. Garrus is trying to track down someone named Sidonis, and his only lead took him here."

Shepard blinked. "How long have we been here?"

"Two days. Although I don't think he's accomplished much, because he's been here with you the whole time. It's strange; he's been in here watching over you almost constantly since Tuchanka, but the second I told him you were starting to come back to us, he practically ran out of here."

A wave of guilt swept through her, and Chakwas noticed the expression.

"Do you feel well, Commander? You look ill."

"Yep. Just fine."

* * *

Garrus had just gotten back to the main battery to grab a gun for his trip to the Citadel when the doors behind him slid open.

"Yes?" he asked solemnly. He didn't want to talk to her, and he'd been afraid that Chakwas would say something about how he refused to leave her side. She was probably going to admonish him, tell him to get off her ship.

Instead of a feminine one, a deep voice greeted him. "Vakarian."

He spun around to see Jacob.

"Do you need something?

"Yeah. I need you to leave Shepard alone."

A week ago Garrus would have felt territorial, but now he was just helpless. He almost laughed at the absurdity of the request; he had been avoiding Jane as much as possible.

"Excuse me?"

"I know what's going on between you two, and I know she's unhappy about it."

"Well, maybe you could fill me in, because I have no idea what's going on myself."

Jacob poked a threatening finger on Garrus' chest. "She's upset about the way you are treating her. If you hurt her, I will make you regret it."

Garrus shoved Jacob's arm aside. "I don't know what the hell you think there is between us, because she's the one who marched down here and told me she doesn't want my friendship. She's the one who hurt me."

Jacob stared at him as if trying to detect a lie. "Nothing happened between you two?"

Garrus snorted. "We drank together, and then she told me it was unprofessional and to only view her as a commander from now on - not a friend."

Jacob was mostly convinced. "I'll still be watching you," he cautioned, turning away.

"How you waste your time doesn't matter to me," Garrus muttered as Jacob walked out of the main battery.

* * *

(A/N): Chapter 10 is the best chapter I've written so far. I'm really looking forward to posting it. Should be up sometime tomorrow!


	10. Chapter 10: Target Acquired

In the End of the World

Chapter 10: Target Acquired

* * *

The lead Garrus had gotten at the Citadel had traced Sidonis' location back to Omega. He'd arranged a meeting with the other Turian under false pretenses and using someone else's name, so his target was unaware that his days were numbered.

However, Garrus knew he couldn't do this task alone. He wanted to use his sniper rifle, so he needed someone to draw Sidonis into the open and engage him in conversation so he'd hold still for a few moments. Out of all of the Normandy's crew, he only really knew Tali and Shepard. The Quarian had been opposed to the idea of "pointless revenge" and had refused to help; that left Jane.

"Shepard, I need to ask a favor of you." He hated coming to her since she had told him to leave her alone. It made him feel weak and exposed.

"Go ahead."

"I tracked down the asshole who was responsible for the death of my whole squad on Omega. He's gone back to Omega. I have a false rendezvous scheduled with him. Will you pretend to be the agent he's meeting up with and lure him into the open so I can get a bullet in him?"

He expected a sour, "No," in reply, but much to his surprise, Jane had agreed to it with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"If it's important to you, I'll do it."

Resentment flared inside Garrus as he wondered if she realized how hypocritical her words were. Still, she was doing him a favor, so he didn't point it out.

"Great. When can you be ready?"

She shrugged."I just need to grab my shotgun from the weapon locker."

"Actually, I think you should leave it here." He saw irritation in her eyes.

"How could you possibly think that's a good idea?"

"If he sees a weapon on you, it might tip him off," Garrus reasoned. "I don't want him running off before he's filled with lead."

She glared at him. "So you're asking me to go unarmed to fucking Omega, where I'm going to act as bait for a lunatic who had ten specialists you hand-picked killed off like it was nothing? If you miss, then what am I supposed to do? Invite him to tea?"

"Shepard - Commander -" he corrected himself, and she grew more irritated. "It's not as bad as you're making it out to be. If Sidonis is armed, it will just be something small like a pistol. Maybe just a knife. If you want, I'll carry your shotgun for you, but the only thing that would attack you without any motive would be a Vorcha. Gun or not, you can take a Vorcha."

"Gun or not, I can take anything," she corrected fiercely. "The problem occurs when they have weapons. Or backup. I'm only dangerous if I can reach them."

"Fine. Take your gun. I just don't want it on you when Sidonis sees you."

"And if you miss?"

"I won't."

She snorted indelicately. "You can't know that." She turned away.

"Shepard!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her back around, before yanking his talons back as if the touch had burned him. "Listen to me," he said firmly. "I will not miss. There's too much to lose. That bastard is going to die." He met her scowl with an indignant glare. "For once in your life, put some faith in someone other than yourself."

"Fine," she snapped. "But if I get knifed, you're paying for the cybernetics."

"If you get knifed, Cerberus will have me court-martialed anyway, so I think I can spare the credits."

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe so. But only in the sense that you broke their new toy. It's not as if they, you know, care."

"Speaking of caring," Garrus said, clearing his throat, "You might want to talk to Jacob."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Spill it."

"He confronted me a few days ago. Accused me of... Hurting you. Clearly he has some strong feelings toward you, and given your desire for a life devoid of emotional attachment, you may want to set him straight."

She sighed, laying her face in her hands. "Great. One more thing to worry about."

"A word of advice?"

"Sure, what the hell?"

His words were cold. "Let him down easier than you did me."

He turned and walked away, leaving her to wallow in the remorse she refused to let him see.

* * *

Once on Omega, the walk felt very short before Garrus took her shotgun away and started to move into position. She shifted uneasily in her new armor, without the familiar weight of her gun. Her usual Cerberus gear might have made Sidonis question her legitimacy as a merc, so she'd worn something different. It made her itch.

She headed toward the small outdoor cafe where she was supposed to meet Sidonis and sat at a table by herself. "Vakarian, are you sure you want to go through with this?" she asked over the headset. "You don't normally have such a cold-blooded attitude toward murder."

"It's not murder to end the fuck that killed my whole team; it's justice."

"Still, are you sure you won't regret it?"

"Regret or not, it's my decision, Shepard, and I'll own it."

"It's not like you." She sounded worried.

This annoyed him. "You don't know the first thing about me." His tone changed, almost into eagerness. "There he is."

Jane looked up to see the Turian approaching her. She stood.

"Are you the agent?" he asked quietly, sub-harmonics belaying nervousness.

"Yes," Jane replied.

"Step to your left. I don't have a clear shot," the voice said over her headset.

Everything about this felt wrong.

"So, what's going on? I was told my location may be compromised?"

"Shepard, move so I can blast the shit to hell!"

"Sidonis -"

"Don't say that name aloud!" he hissed, looking around anxiously.

"Doesn't matter anymore. I highly suggest you start running," she warned him.

His eyes widened. "What?"

"Unless you want a bullet in your skull, haul ass."

The Turian spun around and broke into a sprint. A shot rang out, and then another, but Sidonis was gone.

"God DAMMIT!" she heard, wincing, before the comm went dead.

* * *

(A/N): She is in soooo much trouble...


	11. Chapter 11: Resolution

In the End of the World

Chapter 11: Resolution

* * *

Jane's heart was pounding. She knew he would be furious with her. She mutely headed back to the ship, no longer worried about being unarmed. He'd probably kill her when they got back anyway, and maybe a Vorcha would give her a more merciful death.

Once she had boarded the Normandy, she headed straight for her cabin to await her impending doom. She sat quietly on the end of her bed and thought about why she had tipped off Sidonis, why Garrus' out-of-character blood-lust had bothered her so much.

A few minutes later, a pounding came from the door, so loud she thought it might break.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

More pounding.

"It's open," she said quietly.

The door, sparking, jolted open to a seething Turian.

"If you had a problem with the mission, you should have told me from the start instead of going rogue in the middle of it!"

"I know."

"It's none of your fucking business what kind of person I choose to be!"

"I know."

He growled, unsatisfied by her lack of fight, and picked her up by the collar, shoving her into the wall with his face inches from hers.

"If you want to be left alone, why won't you leave me alone in return?"

"I can't," she gasped, still not defending herself.

"Why the -"

She cut him off, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. Shocked, he dropped her, and they broke apart.

She bit her lip, embarrassed. She hadn't meant to do that.

"Shepard?" His voice was softer now, but still surprised. "What was that?"

"I'm so sorry. I know you hate me. I just wanted something I could remember this time."

He stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I don't really remember last time. I blacked out when we were... In our underwear."

"What exactly do you think happened?"

"I... Didn't we..." she faltered, blushing.

A smile began to form on his face. "Is that what all this weirdness has been about?"

She nodded, still red.

"You drank, then you stripped down to try to make me uncomfortable. Then you fell asleep."

"You mean nothing happened?" Jane was horrified. "So when I went to try to tell you that I can't be in a relationship -"

"I thought you hated me," he finished for her.

She covered her mouth with her hands, and her eyes began to water. "I am so, so sorry Garrus. I could never hate you."

He changed the subject. "So what scared you off?"

"I thought you got me drunk with ulterior motives," she mumbled, blushing even more.

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him, purring into her ear, "Jane Shepard, what kind of Turian do you think I am?"

"I don't think... I know you're not..." She swallowed hard, finding it difficult to think straight with his hands on her. "But with the war, I just can't afford to be distracted."

He let his hands fall and took a step back. She closed her eyes with a sigh, and he went to sit on the bed, where she had been when he'd entered the room.

"What do you want to do?"

Jane shook her head. She knew what she _wanted_ to do: she wanted to walk over to where he sat and straddle his waist. She wanted to take his armor off by herself this time, and to taste his body, to feel him move beneath her.

She didn't realize that several minutes of silence had gone by.

"Shepard, what are you thinking about? The anticipation is killing me."

"I was... Thinking about what it would be like."

"About what? Being in a relationship with me?"

She smiled wryly. "Sort of."

He caught her meaning. "Anything conclusive?"

"Still pondering. What about you? What are you thinking about?"

"I was just doing some research of my own..."

"Garrus, I don't want to ruin things between us." Her tone was different now, more serious. "If things don't work out, I still need you there with me on the field. You're the only one other than Tali I can trust with my life. I need to know that no matter what happens, you'll still be there for me when it counts."

He walked to her and cupped her small face in his hands. Her eyes looked up at him, unguarded. "Shepard, I'll always be here for you." He brushed her hair back from her face gently. "Nothing can change that fact. There's no Vakarian without Shepard. I spent two years on Omega trying to pretend that wasn't true."

"That was about me?" She was shocked.

He nodded. "I wanted to make amends for the wrongs I've done. It seemed a decent way to do it."

She looked down. She didn't know what to say. "Why?"

"Because I knew it was something you'd approve of. It was something that could take my mind off your death, but at the same time I could imagine your ghost there next to me, complaining because I was taking all your targets. And foremost," he lifted her chin up to look into her eyes, "I wanted to know that when I died, we'd end up in the same place. When they started calling me Archangel, I supposed I'd sort of nailed it."

"I had no idea you felt that way."

"How could I not? I'm talking to the most impressive woman in the world. Commander Shepard. The first human Spectre, and the only being to ever take down a Reaper single-handedly. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm star-struck."

She laughed. "A large group of the best warriors from every race in the galaxy is not exactly what I would call single-handed."

"There were other people there? The whole time I only saw you."

"Too cheesey, Garrus."

"Is that the translator again?"

"I meant that it was a total line."

"Damn, I finally thought I was starting to get good at this romantic talk." He dragged a talon gently behind her ear and down her neck, and her breath hitched. "Maybe this will work instead."

"I've always been a fan of the phrase 'actions speak louder than words,'" she hummed, taking his eye piece off and wrapping her arms around his torso.

"So there is another eye under there," she teased him.

He smiled, putting his hand on the back of her head and pulling her toward him for a tender kiss. Her lips were so soft, and so delicately human. His mandibles tickled her cheeks and she giggled a little. He pulled back, questioning, and she ran a hand down the scar on his face she had opened up several days ago by attacking him with her biotics.

"So does this mean girls do like men with scars?"

"Only if they go by the name 'Garrus Vakarian.'"

He made a deep sound of pleasure, running his hand down her side and pausing at her thigh to hitch her leg up behind him. "I like the way that sounds on your lips."

"Garrus," she gasped.

In response, he pulled her hair gently, tipping her head back, and kissed her exposed neck.

Jane didn't know how to remove his armor, but by God, she was going to try.

He helped her find the appropriate clasps and the armor fell to the floor. He turned his attention to her attire. Looking, he did not see any sort of option for removing it. She smiled and lifted his talon, setting it at the top of the cloth, a few inches above her breasts. She pressed down with it, his sharp digit puncturing the thick fabric, and slid it down to her waist.

"Your new suit," he protested.

"It was itchy, and obviously not very durable given the current situation..."

He conceded, pulling the fabric apart and sliding it off her. Once again they stood in her room, in only their underwear, but this time under very different circumstances.

He bent down to sweep her legs out from under her, holding her in his arms, and carried her to the bed while she covered his face with kisses. He laid her down and settled next to her to begin launching a full-frontal assault on her bra. She almost laughed, but didn't want to discourage him, so she deftly reached back and unhooked it with one motion.

He took advantage of the new terrain, exploring her with taloned hands as she slipped off the shirt and light shorts he wore as undergarments. He figured out with ease how to slide off her underwear, and she swung a leg over him, mounting him. He ran his hands over her back as she lay on him, procuring a tremor of pleasure as she kissed down the expanse of his chest plates.

"Are you still having doubts?" he asked jokingly, and much to his disappointment, she halted her advances.

"Yeah. Let's call it off." He almost didn't catch the gleam in her eye.

With a growl, he sat up and wrapped his arms around her, rolling on top of her and pushing her body down to the mattress.

She laughed. "You're the one who asked."

"Just extending a courtesy. You're in too deep to back out now, Shepard."

"Wouldn't dream of it," she said breathlessly as he pinned her wrists and kissed her.

* * *

Tali hadn't heard from Jane since she'd walked glumly to the elevator without a word to anyone, followed soon after by a fuming Garrus. She was worried about her friend; she knew the emotional toll Shepard had taken after the talk she'd had with Garrus, and clearly things had gotten even worse.

The next morning, she decided to check on her friend. She'd opened the door without asking again, and this time it proved to be a huge mistake. Their bodies entwined, Garrus and Jane lay tangled in the sheets, asleep.

"Keelah se'lai," she muttered, shaking her head at them and walking out. She resolved firmly to knock next time.

* * *

(A/N): The next few chapters finally get back to some real plot instead of just character interactions, so less Shakarian fluff. Sorry. Hopefully this chapter will sustain you all for a while!


	12. Chapter 12: Sand

In the End of the World

Chapter 12: Sand

* * *

"Tali, Dr. Chakwas would like to see you in the Med-Bay as soon as possible," Kelly's voice said over her headset.

"Thanks, Kelly," she replied, groaning inwardly, and stepping into the elevator.

That meant something had gone wrong. Someone had brought an infection on the ship. She'd have to get the antibiotic shots every day, morning and night, until the disease had run its course throughout the whole crew. And Tali hated shots.

The elevator "dinged" to release her onto the third floor, and she walked glumly into the Med-Bay, trying to look brave.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Tali, I have some very alarming news."

"Let me guess, another infection?" Tali said bitterly.

Chakwas shook her head. "No, it's nothing related to your health. It's actually about Shepard." She cleared her throat. "I'm not sure how to say this. I came to you because I don't know how to approach Shepard directly about this matter."

Tali was surprised. "Is she okay?"

Chakwas sighed. "I've been running blood tests on her since the biotic episode she had on Tuchanka a few days ago. I wasn't looking for it, but... Well... I've retested the samples so many times, and there's no way around it. The Commander is a drug addict."

Tali stared at her through the environmental suit. "What? That's just... absurd."

"It's all in the bloodwork." She handed Tali the chart, though the Quarian did not know what all the numbers represented.

"She's got huge deposits of red sand in her system, suggesting that she's been building up immunity to it. Most likely, she's been using it for about two months now, since right when she was reconstructed."

"I can't believe this." Tali was distraught. "Maybe it wasn't her after all. Cerberus took her corpse and made this - this _thing_ - and put her memories in it, and made it look and sound just like her, but it isn't. It's not her. The Shepard I knew would have never used. Especially not after what happened to her father."

"Actually," Chakwas corrected uncomfortably, "we have no way of knowing if she used before. Her body was completely destroyed when she died. Over ninety percent of her tissue was regenerated or replaced with cybernetics. It wouldn't be detectable in her system if she was using on the SR-1. All the blood samples we had from before her death were on the old ship when it crashed."

"So you're trying to tell me she may have been an addict since before I even met her?"

"We can't know either way."

"But her biotics are very limited. Wouldn't the red sand have given her a significant boost?"

"It seems that her implant is seriously out of date. She was never even proficient at biotics, so she never bothered to get it updated. The one she has is the same one she was given while she was still a child. I suspect if she got a new implant, she would be a scary sight. After all, even with the old implant, she did quite a toll on the console, and took out an entire team of Krogan on Tuchanka with just one blast."

"So why tell me this?" Tali asked, upset.

"I need your help comfronting her about it. This part of the job is... not my area of expertise."

Tali was quiet. "Doctor, I think we should visit the Normandy crash site and retrieve the blood samples from the wreckage, if they aren't too damaged. I need to know if we are dealing with something new, or if she's never been who I thought she was, before I can decide how to approach her."

* * *

"Shepard, are you up yet? It's mid-afternoon. You can only stay in your cabin for so long."

"Uh, yeah," she commed back sheepishly. "Did you need to talk? I'll just be a few minutes, I'm in the shower right now."

Tali could hear the sound of running water, and some quiet giggling. "Take your time," she replied quickly, "just come find me when you're ready." She hung up the comm in a hurry.

About half an hour later, Jane walked into Engineering, her hair still wet from showering. She couldn't see it when Tali rolled her eyes.

"Good morning, Tali," she said pleasantly. "What's on your mind?"

Tali chose not to remind her that it was almost the evening already. "I spoke to Dr. Chakwas this morning. She wanted to compare my old blood samples to fresh ones to monitor my reaction over time to anti-biotics. This would ensure that the normal pathogens within the ship aren't becomming drug-resistant."

Jane nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."

"There's only one problem: all my old blood samples were on the SR-1."

Jane thought about it. "So you want to go to the crash site and see if they're still intact?"

She nodded.

"Absolutely, Tali. Whatever we need to do to make sure you're staying healthy."

Her words hit Tali with a pang. Shepard sounded so sincere. Tali hated to lie to her friend like this, but she had seen what happened to sand junkies; the stuff rotted their brains. All they cared about was the drug. Eventually, if they didn't overdose, they would lose almost all sentient capability. She couldn't stand the thought of that happening to her friend.

She tried to keep her voice even. "Thanks, Shepard."

Jane smiled. "Anytime. Her eyes lit up, and her voice dropped to a quieter level to ensure that the engineers, only about twenty feet away, couldn't hear. "I have a major update on the Garrus situation."

"I know."

Jane cocked her head to the side questioningly. "What? How?"

"I went to check up on you this morning because you looked really upset last night. I walked in and saw you two."

Jane groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Please tell me this was before the whipped cream fiasco."

"You were asleep!" Tali squeaked, horrified.

Shepard stared at her. "I'm so sorry you had to hear that. I'm just going to go now."

Tali turned back to her work, trying to get the images out of her head.


	13. Chapter 13: Cerberus Bastards

In the End of the World

Chapter 13: Cerberus Bastards

* * *

Jane watched him clean a pistol, his back to her. She'd rehearsed what she wanted to say to him to be as clear as possible while avoiding hurt feelings, but she was nervous, and forgot her dialogue.

"Jacob?" she said hesitantly.

He jumped, spinning around to see her. "Commander, I didn't hear you come in the room. Need me for something?"

"I heard you and Garrus had a chat."

His eyes darkened. "I was hoping that wouldn't get back to you."

"Well, I'm glad it did," she replied, "because I need to discuss a few matters with you."

"Alright, I'm listening."

"First: I appreciate the gesture, but do not attempt to fight my battles for me. I am more than capable of taking care of myself. If for some reason I require assistance, I will ask you for help. Otherwise, do not confront my other crew members regarding my personal matters. Is that clear, Soldier?"

He nodded grimly, clearly feeling admonished.

"Good. And second: I need you to know that I am not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you."

He absorbed her words silently, with careful consideration. "Are you involved with someone?"

"Yes, I am, but that isn't why."

"Is it Garrus?"

Jane's eyes hardened. "Who I am seeing is none of your business, Taylor, and I'd appreciate if you don't start spreading rumors about my love life. Or if you do, at least make it something impressive, like that I went a few rounds with a Krogan and lived through it."

He smirked, but stayed professional. "Understood, Commander."

"Thanks, Taylor. You're a good man, and I'm glad to have you on board."

She walked out of the Armory, heading to the Tech Labs, but stopped outside the conference room when she heard Miranda's voice.

"- know how risky it is talking like this? Why wouldn't you send me a message over the Extranet instead?"

"Liara has become very powerful, and is monitoring all Cerberus communications. She suspects something, and I believe she will speak up soon. We'll send someone to take care of that problem, though, don't worry. The point is, at the moment, this is the safest way to talk."

A chill ran down Jane's spine. The Illusive Man was planning to kill Liara? She hit "record" on her omni-tool. She had a feeling she'd want to rehash this later.

"Okay, then get it over with," Miranda hissed. "I have a terrible feeling about this."

"I wanted to make sure you followed my orders."

"Yes, no further treatment issued. Synonymously, no more lapses, as we suspected."

"Alright - up the dosage again when you think it's safe."

"Yes, sir. Same as before?"

"Half it. We don't want to risk another episode."

"Got it. Anything else?"

Jane hurried into the Tech Labs so she wouldn't be caught. She wasn't sure what most of the conversation meant, but she knew she wasn't meant to hear it. She'd have to replay the conversation later to Tali to see if her Quarian friend could make heads or tails of it.

She shook her head to herself. She'd been sure from the moment she'd met Miranda that the woman could not be trusted, and neither could the slimy organization she worked for. Now there was proof. Later tonight she'd set up cameras in the conference room and in Miranda's office, and have Tali plant a bug in Miranda's computer to monitor her communications.

However, at the moment, she found herself face-to-face with a Salarian.

"Hello, Mordin," she greeted him.

"Shepard! Surprised to see you again so soon."

"It's been over a week now," she reminded him, bemused.

"Already? Time flies when busy with science."

"You really love your work, don't you?" she smiled.

"_I am the very model of a scientist Salarian_," he sang in response, drawing a laugh from her.

"Meant to comm you sooner - didn't realize a week had passed - Illusive Man sent this to Citadel. Picked it up when Turian took us there." He held up a small device comprised of plastic and metal. "Know what it is?"

She shook her head.

"New biotic implant for you. Suspect the age of prior implant cause of your trip to Med-Bay."

"Mordin, I do not trust the Illusive Man, and I will not take that implant."

"Illusive Man very suspicious," he agreed, "but new implant good idea. Reconsider after thorough examination of device to ensure no foul-play?"

She sighed. "Okay. I trust your expertise, and if you think it's safe, I'll do it."

"Good. Won't let you down." He paused. "Need something else?"

"Well, yeah." She looked down. "I deleted those vids a little too soon. Could you, uh, resend them please?"

"Why sudden change of heart? Turian finally confess love?"

"No! We aren't in love. Just, I don't know, trying something."

Mordin shrugged. "Sending vids again. Brilliant scientist, but may never understand purpose of romantic relationships."

"Maybe I'll buy you a book someday."

His face lit up. "Do enjoy reading. Look forward to learning new information!"

She grinned, walking out of the Tech Lab and onto Deck Two as he quietly hummed a song about science to himself.

She paused outside the doorway, typing out a message on her omni-tool.

"_Liara,_

_Lay low for a while. I have reason to believe Cerberus may be targeting you. Please find safety immediately, and let me know you are okay. Planting cameras and trying to find out more information. If I can help in any other way, don't hesitate to ask._

_Love, Shep_."

She sent the message, taking a moment to relax her expression, which had been painted with worry for her Asari friend.

She walked toward the galaxy map to see how close they were to the Normandy's crash site, and saw Tali talking with Kelly.

"Hey, Tali, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Shepard, ah, sure." In an undertone, she said to Kelly, "We'll talk later."

Kelly, for some reason, looked at Jane with concern for a moment, then remembered something. "Oh, Commander, Alliance finally got around to revoking your access to Spectre Requisitions. Apparently they want their credits back for the -" she checked her omni-tool, "- the dextro whipped cream you bought this morning. What would you do with that?"

Jane hoped against hope that her face wouldn't turn red, as she felt Tali's stare through the environmental suit.

"Yes. That was actually for, uh, for Tali! Who eats dextro food. She wanted hot chocolate. Right, Tali?"

"Yes," she replied flatly. "Hot chocolate."

Kelly smiled. "It's nice to have a Commander who cares so much about her crew that she goes out of her way to help with the little things." To Jane's confusion, she shot a meaningful look at Tali, who ignored her.

"So, Shepard, what's going on?"

"I can't play it for you right now, too many eyes out here, but I have a very incriminating recording of Miranda and The Illusive Man," Jane said quietly. "They're up to something, and there's a hit on Liara for trying to find out what."

"I knew Miranda was a bitch," Tali growled. "Good thing all the Cerberus spyware is gone now. Is Liara okay?"

Jane shook her head. "I don't know. I just sent her an Extranet message and asked her to reply when she's safe. I'll let you know when I hear from her. In the meantime, as soon as possible, I need Miranda's communications to be monitored. Cameras in her office and room, and a chip in her computer. I want the conference room under surveillance also. I'll take Miranda off ship with us when we land so there's an opportunity to get into her office. Will you be able to reprogram the Cerberus cameras we took out so Garrus can set them up while you and I get those blood samples?"

She nodded. "I can do that."

"Thanks, Tali."

"Anytime."

* * *

(A/N): Sorry for the lame ending. Someone broke into my car, and I'm all out of fucks to give. I'll make up for it with the next chapter, maybe by throwing in some more Shakarian.


	14. Chapter 14: Intel

In the End of the World

Chapter 14: Intel

* * *

"Garrus, I need you in my room, stat."

She heard him chuckle over the comm. "Shepard, we only just left your room a few hours ago. The crew is going to start to get suspicious if we stop doing our jobs entirely."

She scoffed. "Oh, get over yourself. This is business."

"Alright, alright, I'll be there as soon as that damn elevator permits."

She cued up the file on her omni-tool as she paced in front of her aquarium impatiently. The door slid open and he stepped in.

"What's going on?"

"Listen to this."

She played the audio file for Garrus, and he listened warily. When the file was over, she clicked her omni-tool off and looked at him. "What do you think that means?"

He thought about it. "It sounds like they're running some creepy experiment. 'Dosage'... It's almost like maybe they're giving someone medical treatment." He shook his head. "I'm not sure. It's definitely weird. You should have Tali take a look at it."

"I will," she assured him. "Right now she's reconfiguring the Cerberus spyware so that we can set it up in Miranda's office and the conference room. Tali and Miranda will be on the ground with me, so while we're gone, I need you to plant the bugs and put a chip in her computer."

"Got it."

"Oh, and another thing..." Her eyes, full of unease, met his. "The Illusive Man mentioned right before I hit the record button that he's planning to kill Liara for monitoring Cerberus communications. I sent her an Extranet message and I'm waiting to hear back from her."

Garrus' expression was dark. "We aren't going to let that happen to her."

"Damn straight."

She sounded confident, but he heard the waver in her voice, and wrapped his arms around her. "Liara knows much more than you give her credit for. By the time you sent that message, she was probably already in hiding."

"I hope so," she mumbled against his chest.

"Shepard, you should probably consider investing in some sort of holding cell for the ship, because when we figure out what Miranda is up to, we'll need somewhere to keep her. You know Liara's going to want to have a little 'chat' with her."

Jane laughed weakly, and he smiled at the sound. "Maybe as a welcome back present I'll get her a set of carving knives."

"That's my girl."

She looked up at him. "I'm really glad you're here with me."

"And I'm glad to be here with you. Even after the whipped cream."

"You promised to never bring that up again."

"Sorry, the flashbacks have been haunting me all day. I may have post-traumatic stress disorder."

"That reminds me," she grimaced, "Tali and Jacob know about us... And so does Mordin."

He stared at her in shock. "That fast? Shepard, I didn't realize you were such a gossip. Weren't we trying to keep it casual for the sake of the crew?"

"Well, Mordin picked up on it on his own and gave me some vids to watch on inter-species intimacy... I had a talk with Jacob and told him I wasn't interested in him, and he accused me of being involved with you. Last but not least, Tali walked in on us this morning."

"Shit. So she knows about the whipped cream disaster?"

"That's what I asked when she told me. Apparently we were just sleeping, but now she knows something horrible happened, and that it involved dextro whipped cream."

He sighed. "At least if our cover is mostly blown, you got us some porn out of it."

"Those vids are supposed to be educational!" she protested, turning red.

"Not that we need to be educated in the matter," he smirked.

"Actually, some of us could stand to learn the proper usage of a whipped cream canister."

"Look who's bringing it up now."

"I guess I'm scarred from it too."

He chuckled before letting her go. "Look, I know this isn't the right time, but we still have some stuff to talk about. I want to know what you need in a relationship, and we should figure out what exactly it is that we're doing."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

"And also," he was more serious now, "We need to discuss what happened with Sidonis. I understand now why you did what you did, but it's still a conversation I'd like to have with you."

"I thought it might come back up at some point." She sounded distressed again.

"Hey," he chided, "Stop worrying. It's just a talk."

"I know, but that doesn't make it -"

"Commander Shepard, the shuttle is ready."

"Thanks, EDI." She turned back to Garrus. "I have to go." She kissed him, briefly but meaningfully. "I'll have Tali bring the cameras to you before we leave."

"We'll talk later, then."

"Yeah. I suppose so."

He waited in Jane's room so Tali would know where to find him. Now that Jane wasn't here to consume his attention, he studied his surroundings.

Her room was mostly tidy, saving her disorganized desk, where papers sprawled over datapads and pens. He picked up one of the pens and examined it. Of course he had been taught how to write by hand back when he was in school, but datapads had almost entirely replaced pens and papers long ago. It seemed Jane still enjoyed the traditional method of writing. He looked at the papers to see what human words looked when carved by hand. Her writing was slanted and scratchy, but organized. It was a very routine-looking language, with simple characters repeated in each clump of pen strokes.

He searched for a blank piece of paper and, holding the pen awkwardly in his talons, scrawled something in his own language across the paper. It was a short message, so he wrote it in large characters that took up most of the middle of the paper. He doubted Jane would be able to read it; omni-tools had a hard enough time converting typed languages, let alone hand-written ones.

As he set down the pen and paper, the door slid open and Tali approached him, carrying a box filled with electronics.

"Hello, Garrus."

"Hey. That's a lot of cameras."

"Yeah, I wanted to be sure we'd have enough. Shepard didn't say anything about Jacob, but he works for Cerberus too. It's probably a good idea to put a few cameras in the armory as well, just to keep an eye on him."

"I'll try to think of something to lure him out."

She nodded, and turned to walk out. "Oh, I almost forgot to mention." She turned back to face him. "If you hurt my friend, I'm going to have to kick your Turian ass back to Palaven. Nothing personal."

He smiled. "Would you believe that's not the first time I've heard that?"

"Yes, actually," Tali chuckled. "Shepard is... She's going through a lot, but she's a good person. It's easy for me to think that not many people would want to see her unhappy. She cares for you a lot, Garrus. Don't ever take advantage of that."

"I plan not to."

* * *

(A/N): Put the pieces together, Shepard! The answer is so obvious!


	15. Chapter 15: Ruins

In the End of the World

Chapter 15: Ruins

* * *

She felt guilty for not saying anything to Garrus. Tali knew the Turian was completely infatuated with Jane, and he deserved to know that she was a sand addict.

She sighed and Shepard, sitting beside her in the shuttle, gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand, mistakenly thinking Tali was upset about all the lives lost in the crash of the SR-1.

It was so hard to keep reminding herself that her friend was under the influence of a personality-altering drug.

The shuttle ride was generally quiet; Shepard and Tali were restraining themselves from attacking the Cerberus bitch whose boss had put a bounty on Liara's head, while Miranda was wise enough not to push her luck while in the presence of the former two and lots of guns. It only took a few minutes before they arrived with a "thud" onto the surface of the planet.

The three women stepped out of the shuttle and into a biting wind. The ground was covered with snow, but everything else in sight was grey. Jane shivered and looked at her omni-tool as it scanned the terrain. A small "ping" from it indicated that it had found something noteworthy, and it showed up on the omni-tool's small map as a miniature flag.

They set off in that direction through the icy weather. Luckily, it was only a few minutes walk before they saw a large metal ridge protruding from the ground. They moved in closer to see the tail section of the first Normandy, rusted and torn apart, being dusted by a thin layer of snow as the wind picked up. Part of it was buried, but they could still see inside it where crew members used to work. A few dog tags from her deceased crew lay scattered in the snow, and Jane knelt to retrieve them, looking around to see if she could find more.

"I can't believe this used to be the Normandy," Tali whispered.

Other pieces of the ship loomed out of the fog, and the women spread out to observe the wreckage. Jane found luggage deposited about the remains of the ship, and retrieved a few datapads and photos from inside the disheveled cases.

"Shepard, I found it."

Tali walked toward her, arms full with a large crate.

Jane forced a smile, though seeing the faces of those she'd lost on the SR-1 in the photos she'd found had dampened her spirits. "What condition are they in?"

Tali shrugged. "They look fine to me, but Chakwas will have to be the one to tell us. I grabbed all the blood samples there were, just in case. Hopefully no one else will need theirs, but it's better to be safe."

"Good thinking. Let's get back to the ship."

* * *

Garrus was at a loss. Jane had just commed him to let him know that they were headed back to the Normandy, so he only had a few minutes left. The cameras were set up in Miranda's office and the conference room already, but it seemed that Jacob never left the Armory. He'd been watching through the doorway for over an hour, and all Jacob had done in this time was polish guns. Was this what he was paid to do? Garrus gave up and called for backup.

"Joker, I need your help."

"Garrus? What's going on?"

"You can't ask why, but I need you to call Jacob over and distract him for at least five minutes."

"Why?"

"Dammit, I said not to ask."

"Oh, I see," he said, and Garrus could hear the grin in his voice. "This is about Shepard, right? What are you going to do, search the armory to see if Jacob's been trying to get with the Commander? I don't think you'll find anything. Jacob doesn't seem like the type of guy who keeps a journal."

Garrus was stunned. "How did you know about that?"

"You and Shepard? Doesn't everyone know?"

"They aren't supposed to! How did you find out? Did she tell you, or did Tali say something? We only started seeing each other yesterday. It's not exactly old news yet!"

The other end of the comm was quiet for a few moments. "You _what_? I just meant that you totally want to hit that. You guys are a thing now?"

Shit.

"Uh, no. Damn translator must have malfunctioned, that is definitely not what I said."

"Nice try, buddy," Joker laughed. "Hey, maybe she'll help you to finally take that stick out of your -"

"Can we talk about this later? Right now I really need to get into that Armory."

"Alright, fine. I'll call him over."

"Thanks. And Joker?"

"Yeah?"

"If you tell anyone what you just heard, I will end you."

"Oookay, maybe I was wrong about the stick thing. It's probably fused in there."

Garrus smirked as the comm clicked.

A moment later, Jacob's mouth formed words Garrus couldn't hear from a distance as he replied to Joker over the comm. Confusion furrowed the human's brow, and he set down his gun and walked out of the Armory toward the elevator. When the elevator doors shut, Garrus took his opportunity.

It took a few minutes to place the cameras, and before he was finished, Joker's voice was on his headset.

"Hey! He's coming back. Get out of there."

"That's all the time you could get me?"

"The man is a fucking wall! 'How's your family?' 'Dead.' 'What made you join Cerberus?' 'I don't know.' Whole conversation went like that before he asked why the hell I was so curious and walked away without letting me answer."

"Charming," Garrus muttered, carefully adjusting the last camera and practically sprinting out of the Armory into the hall behind the elevator. The other way out was through the Tech Labs, so that's where Garrus went.

Mordin looked up as he entered, surprised by his new guest. "Sorry, Garrus. Have no more vids. Try looking on Extranet. Need cream? Human mate developed chafing?"

"Ah, no. I was just passing through. But thanks, I think."

"Have fun copulating."

Garrus exited the Tech Lab with a shudder, just as Tali came onto his headset.

"Garrus, we just got back. I need to talk to you about something. When Shepard goes to sleep, comm me and I'll meet you in the lounge."

She sounded calm, but there was a slight note of uncertainty in her voice.

"Yeah, sure. What's going on?"

"I just... I need to talk to you about it in person. Please don't mention it to Shepard. It's really important."

"Okay. I can do that."

"Thanks, Garrus."

He heard a small sigh before she disconnected.

* * *

(A/N): I've been doing daily updates for the most-part, but tomorrow I turn 21. I'll be spending the day getting tattoos, eating burgers, and legally drinking. No new chapter tomorrow, sorry. :)


	16. Chapter 16: Pieces in the Puzzle

In the End of the World

Chapter 16: Pieces in the Puzzle

* * *

"Let me get this straight: you are fully aware that there will be a naked woman waiting in bed for you, and yet your stupid gun has to be calibrated _now_?"

"I know, Shepard. I'm sorry. I'll be as quick as possible, and when I come up there, I'll make it up to you. Okay?"

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek in the privacy of the elevator and she grumbled a, "Fine," just before the door "dinged", releasing him onto the third floor. Instead of going to the Main Battery, he headed to the Lounge, where Tali sat with half a bottle of Turian wine.

"Are you drunk?" he asked, surprised.

"No," she said glumly. "I only drank enough to make reality slightly less frustrating."

"How did you drink it without taking off your enviro-suit?"

"Emergency induction port." She gestured to the straw in her wine glass and offered him the rest of the bottle. "Sit down and take this. You're going to need it."

He sat next to her cautiously, taking the wine bottle to set it out of her reach.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Keelah. I don't even know how to say this to you." She paused. "Chakwas called me into the Med-Bay yesterday afternoon. She had an update about Shepard's... Condition."

Garrus went cold. Obviously Shepard hadn't heard about it yet, and Tali was clearly upset about it. This was bad news.

"She tested Shepard's blood," Tali continued, "And found traces of red sand. Enough to make her think that Shepard has been on the drug since the moment she came back to us."

He stared at her. This had to be some sort of sick joke. Shepard knew how important her job was, and she'd never jeopardize it by using recreational drugs. This was stupid. Tali was wrong.

"That's impossible," he said flatly.

She shook her head. "Think about it. It explains all the biotic rage she's had lately. Chakwas said her biotics would be totally off the charts if she had a half-decent implant."

"That goes against everything she stands for," Garrus protested.

"I know. When she came back from Cerberus, they completely rebuilt her. I don't think it's our Shepard anymore. The old Shepard used to be so free and happy. Now she's cold and calculated most of the time. I thought it was the weight of the job getting to her."

"She has been more distant, yes, but I've spent a lot of time with her the last few days, and she's been completely herself. There's no way she's on drugs. She's totally lucid."

"I can't explain this any better, Garrus, but her blood is filled with sand. Deny it or not, that is the truth."

The Quarian offered him an empty glass, but he didn't need it. He took a large swill from the bottle, staring at the cheap liquor.

"It's hard to think about... Someone you care so much about..."

"I just wonder how much of it was really her."

Tali looked at him with concern that didn't show through her suit. "What do you mean?"

"When we talked, when we kissed. How much of that was her, and how much was addled by narcotics? I feel like... I don't know. Like I was tricked."

"I'm sorry. I should have told you when I found out. It just took some time for it to sink in."

"You haven't said anything to her?"

Tali shook her head. "That's why we went to the crash site. I recovered the blood samples from the SR-1. Chakwas is testing Shepard's blood samples from two years ago to see if she was on drugs then. At least... Hopefully we can find peace of mind that she was once the woman we thought she was."

"And then what?"

"I was hoping you'd have some sort of idea."

He was silent for a moment, before saying, "We need to confront her about this. I can't... I refuse to believe it until I hear the words from her mouth. Until she tells me that she's slowly killing herself. Changing her personality. Destroying the woman I -"

Tali held up a finger for him to stop, and listened intently to something Garrus couldn't hear. "Oh. It is? Thank you. Yes, thank you for telling me."

She turned back to him. "That was Chakwas. She... The blood was clean. Shepard was clean."

He stared at her for a few moments. "I need to think things over. But I'm going to talk to her about this in the morning. I hope you'll be there."

Tali nodded. "Yeah. She was - she is - my friend."

He stood. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

* * *

Jane woke up on the floor in her cabin. This was the third time it had happened, and she wondered if she had rolled out of bed. She was sore all over, and her muscles ached as if she'd just gotten back from a battle. She groaned and put on her casuals.

She remembered vaguely as if from a dream that she had been waiting for Garrus, and that he hadn't shown up. She'd given up, changed into her pajamas, and gone to bed in a huff. The memory triggered anger in her, and she decided to give him the cold shoulder when she saw him.

The first item on her agenda was to check the cameras they'd planted, but she felt vengeful about being stood up by Garrus, so she headed down to Deck Two to get the new implant from Mordin.

It wasn't exactly a risky procedure, but she thought that it would offend him if she made the rash decision without telling him, and she wanted to get under his skin.

Once in the Tech Lab, Mordin informed her that the scan had come up clean, and the implant was safe. She nervously laid face down on a padded table that she knew Mordin had used to examine corpses. The Salarian attempted to comfort her.

"Relax, Shepard. Have read up extensively on human anatomy. In theory, know exactly how to do this."

"Wait, you've never done this before?" she asked, slightly panicked.

"Not tricky, just need to inject pain killer -" there was a sharp pinch at the back of her neck, "- then make incision -" a slight pressure, but no pain, "- then take out old implant and put new one in."

She didn't feel it, but she heard him apply a liberal amount of medi-gel to the wound,which he then covered with a large bandage.

"All done. Wait two hours before showering or removing bandage. No biotics until tomorrow, then do warm ups first so implant doesn't short-circuit."

"Thanks, Mordin. But next time let me know first if I'm going to be a lab rat."

He waved at her dismissively. "Silly human. Relatively easy procedure. Only slightest risk of death."

She stared at him. "You could have _killed_ me?"

"Important to remember that implant was a success. No harm done. Good day, Commander."

Jane went back up to her room to sulk, but once there, remembered the cameras they'd set up. She powered up her omni-tool and loaded the logs. She went in order from most suspicious to least suspicious, checking Miranda's office first and the Armory second. Nothing was out of the ordinary. As a formality she checked the conference room, and her eyes widened in shock.

There on the screen her omni-tool displayed was a miniature-sized Jane Shepard, clad in underwear and a shirt, and glowing with biotics. She was in the process of destroying the conference room, leaving huge scorch marks on the wall and overturning the furniture.

She froze the screen and stared, filled with confusion, before running to the elevator.

She clicked the "open door" button exactly fourteen times before it finally popped open, revealing Garrus and Tali.

Jane frowned in confusion. "What are you guys - nevermind. Something weird is going on. I swear to God, you have to see this. There are two of me."

Garrus looked at Tali almost nervously, and she replied quietly, "It's getting worse."

"What the fuck are you - okay, just let me show you -"

"Shepard, we need to talk to you," Tali told her.

Jane was getting irritated. "Can it hold on a second?"

"No, it can't," Garrus said, sounding dejected. "We know your secret."

She stared at him. "What? Are you talking about the conference room? Because I was trying to get to that when you interrupted and -"

"About the drugs."

This stopped her. "What drugs? What the hell is going on behind my back on this ship?"

"Shepard, we know. We know about the red sand," Tali sighed, sounding almost on the verge of tears. "Dr. Chakwas tested your blood. I just wish that instead of turning to narcotics, you would have talked to me. Maybe I could have helped. We gotten you some anti-depressants -"

Jane had stopped listening. The conversation was surreal to her. While the words made sense, the thoughts didn't. Jane had never taken recreational drugs. How could Tali think that? Even after her father...

"I'm not on drugs. That's insane. Now let me show you - I have something on my omni-tool you both need to see, and Tali, there's an audio of -"

She cut off as it hit her. Red sand was a drug that amplified biotic powers. She'd been using biotics on the video file of the conference room, probably sleep walking. She was the one who had been wrecking the ship overnight. The conversation she'd overheard about resuming dosage had been about her.

As the realization dawned on her, her lips formed a deadly snarl around the name.

"_Miranda."_

* * *

(A/N): Thanks for the birthday wishes! It was great, and the tat was totally worth the agonizing pain. Next chapter will be pretty intense. Definitely not suitable for children.


	17. Chapter 17: Karma

In the End of the World

Chapter 17: Karma

* * *

Tali and Garrus were shocked as Jane, suddenly in a violent rage, pushed through them and into the elevator. The doors shut before they could react, and they stood in the entryway to her cabin.

"This is the sort of thing I was afraid of," Tali fretted. "I knew we should have gotten more backup, prepared more..."

"There's something else going on," Garrus muttered as he punched the elevator button. "I don't know what it is, but we need to get to Deck Three before she does anything reckless."

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors opened, and the two hurried in.

Tali pushed the glowing number three. "She's out of her mind right now, Garrus. She's talking about there being two of her and breaking off in the middle of her sentences. When she left, it was like she forgot we were even there."

He shook his head. "I know her, Tali. She may have been pissed off, but she was sober."

"Have you seen the way sand addicts act? They aren't like alcoholics, Garrus. They speak in normal patterns and their logic is still functional. Their minds work quickly. However, they have irrational thoughts and strange, erratic behaviors."

"Please, just stop." He sounded exhausted. "I can't have this conversation right now. Let's just find her and deal with whatever set her off."

The doors opened, and they ran to Miranda's office, which was illuminated with blue light.

A huge crash came from within, accompanied by a scream.

"I asked you a fucking question."

Her voice was like ice as she stood over Miranda. The Cerberus operative was quivering on the floor, nursing a dislocated shoulder and scooting away from Jane in terror.

"It wasn't my idea! He just hired me. This was a job. Please, don't -"

She screamed again as Shepard stomped on her ankle, shattering it. Blood pooled on the ground, and white bone was visible.

Miranda was sobbing now, almost incoherent, and this was only fueling Jane's anger. The commander's biotic implant was clearly much more effective than her old one.

"Answer me."

"He has nothing to do with it!" she shrieked. "Just a hired gun! Please, Shepard, I am begging you!"

Tali stared in horror, entirely immobilized by the scene that was unfolding before her. Never before had she seen her friend so merciless. Garrus was equally shocked, but launched into action as Jane raised her hand, glowing orange, to incinerate Miranda.

"Shepard, _no_!"

He grabbed her arm and she snarled, turning on him. Before she had a fair chance, he twisted her hand behind her in an arm-lock, and secured her other arm similarly. She tensed.

"Let me go," she growled.

"No."

"I am going to _kill_ her."

"You're not."

"Please." Her voice wavered, and tears spilled down her face. "I can't look at her. Everything is her fault. Liara might die, so why does this bitch get to live?"

"We'll work it out, Shepard, but I'm not going to let you kill her. We need some answers from her, if nothing else, before we dispose of her."

She went limp against him, still crying, and he tentatively released her. Miranda wasn't about to go anywhere, so he left her shaking and bleeding on the floor as Tali ran to find restraints.

"This is because I didn't let you kill Sidonis," Jane accused him bitterly through her tears.

Garrus stroked her hair softly. He understood the pain she felt; he'd felt it only days before. "No, but I know now why you couldn't watch me kill him."

She slowly walked past him, away from Miranda, and punched the wall, her fist glowing.

"That _whore_ drugged me."

He watched her punch the wall again, denting the thick metal. "The red sand Chakwas found in your blood - that's what that audio file was about?"

"Tell him, Miranda," Jane sneered with another punch. The wall was red now.

Miranda was pale from blood loss, still wracked by tremors. The expression on her face indicated that she was too frightened to speak.

Garrus breathed deeply and tried to remain calm, but anger consumed him. This woman had hurt Shepard, had turned her into some sort of experiment. His jaw clenched, and he took slow, deliberate steps toward the bleeding form on the floor.

He knelt beside her, murmuring, "It will all be over soon," and she mistook his controlled demeanor as kindness, closing her eyes as she continued to shake with silent sobs.

He drew back his hand and hit her hard across the face, knocking her back a few feet, and she screamed from the pain it brought to her ankle and shoulder.

At that moment, Tali returned with handcuffs, and roughly jerked Miranda into an upright position to slip them onto her. She cried out again.

"Cerberus is responsible for the red sand," Garrus growled to Tali.

"You mean, Shepard never..."

"Can't believe you thought I was a fucking sand head." Jane sounded hurt, and she punched the wall yet again, her knuckles dripping.

"You're going to break your hand," Tali chided softly, filled with guilt.

Jane turned back to Miranda, cold again. "What the fuck did you turn me into?"

"Wh-what?"

"That drug. What is it going to do to me?"

"Well, we don't really know," she stammered. "Your biotics increased greatly, but your emotional stability has been unreliable... We don't know how much will be permanent."

The commander turned to Garrus. Her red-brown hair was a tangled mess, and her eyes were wild. "I'm going to kill her."

He slowly put his arm around her shoulders. "Let's get you out of here for a while. Tali, will you please deal with _that_ -" he gestured to Miranda, "- while I calm her down?"

"Yeah." The Quarian was still shaken up, but clearly harboring an intense anger toward Miranda.

Garrus guided Jane out of the office.

"I don't want to go back to my room. I will go stir-crazy if you force me to sit in there."

"We aren't going to your room."

She stared up at him as they continued walking. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to spar."

* * *

(A/N): Sorry it was another two-day wait for the new chapter. In case you didn't notice, Miranda isn't my favorite character, and I enjoyed writing this chapter. Even if it took a little longer. Yay, violence! Finally Shep did something kinda badass, even if she was a crybaby about it.


	18. Chapter 18: Stupidity

In the End of the World

Chapter 18: Stupidity

* * *

Garrus directed Jane, who was still shaking with rage, to the vacant lounge. She watched him warily while he laid out the sparring mat.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"I'm going to hurt you."

He snorted at the idea of the small human causing him severe injury. "I think I'll manage."

"Seriously. I know you, and you're going to hold back so you don't hurt me. It's going to leave holes in your defense, and I'll end up hurting you. Especially right now."

Her teeth were gritted, and he could tell that part of the anger she felt was directed at him for stopping her murderous plight. She definitely needed something to punch right now; something a little less breakable than Miranda.

"Then I won't hold back."

He made a quick lunge for her, and she ducked out of his grasp. She was on defense, not returning his attack, so he swiped at her new location. She was too fast. Before he could turn to follow her movements, Jane was already behind him on the center of the mat. He smiled inwardly, impressed by her speed.

This time, she was the one to come after him. She charged, rolling to the side when he prepared to meet her with exposed talons. She swept his legs out from under him, toppling him as he grabbed her arm, his talons ripping into her skin.

She glared at him, but ignored the minor wound and continued her advances as the Turian returned hastily to his feet. She ducked around him again, springing up behind him and climbing onto his shoulders where she continued her attack by punching him hard in the face. It hurt her hand more than it hurt him.

He reached over his head and grabbed her by the arms, tossing her down onto the mat in front of him. He leaned over her, growling in triumph as he pressed one sharp talon against her unprotected throat. She struggled and thrashed under his grip, and he instinctively pressed down, slicing a deep gash into her throat.

Jane gasped as the cut welled up with blood, spilling down her neck.

He released her, startled, as blood continued to stream from the laceration.

"Shit. Are you okay? Shepard, I didn't mean to do that."

"Get help," she hissed, pressing down on the wound to slow the bleeding.

He nodded and put one hand beneath her knees and the other behind her back, lifting her. With Jane in his arms, he ran to the Med-Bay, cursing himself internally. Sparring with a human? What a stupid idea. Shepard wasn't even wearing armor. After fighting alongside her for so long, he'd forgotten that she wasn't actually the invulnerable soldier she appeared to be on the battlefield.

Luckily, the Med-Bay was only a few rooms away. He burst through the doors to find Chakwas. The doctor appeared startled by his sudden entry, but quickly appraised the situation.

"Set her down on that bed," she directed, and he complied. "Now get me some medi-gel from the dispenser on the wall."

She opened a drawer from the rolling cart next to Shepard and pulled out a needle and thread. It had been a while since she'd needed to use such old-fashioned procedures in her practice, but Jane was unconscious and pale from blood-loss, and Chakwas needed to act quickly.

She threaded the needle as Garrus set the pack of medi-gel down on the side of the bed and watched the doctor sew Jane's skin together, an anguished look on his face.

"How did it happen?"

"We were sparring. It was idiotic of me to suggest. I don't..." He shook his head. "Please, tell me she'll be okay."

"Let me stitch her up first, then I'll get her vitals. So you did this?"

"Yeah." It was a tormented whisper of a word.

The doctor sighed. "She knows you would never hurt her on purpose. Did you get the chance to tell her how you feel about her yet?"

In this moment, he didn't care how she'd found out. "Kind of. I told her I really cared about her. Some stuff happened... The red sand business... I told her we'd talk more later, then this happens -" His voice broke. "I'd be surprised if she keeps me on the ship after this, let alone wants to hear how I feel about her."

"She is a reasonable person, Garrus. I guarantee you she won't be getting high as long as she's in my Med-Bay, so whatever her reaction is will be genuine. I'm glad Tali told you about the red sand, by the way, or did Shepard confess?"

"Tali told me, but we were wrong. Miranda's been drugging her."

Chakwas stared at him. "She _what_? God, I should have known it was something else. I ran that test five times, because I just couldn't believe that Shepard would have sunk that low."

"Yeah. That was pretty much my reaction."

"I know you probably don't want to talk about that right now," she said, her voice full of empathy, "So just come back later and let me know what's going on."

She set the needle down and opened the medi-gel, smearing a copious amount onto the wound. She then picked up Shepard's hand, placing two fingers on her wrist, and staring at her omni-tool to keep count of the seconds.

"Her pulse is steady. Very strong."

She slipped a small clamp hooked up to a monitor onto Jane's finger, and went to the small refrigerator to retrieve two bags of blood. Garrus stared at the strange red liquid.

"Is that..."

"Blood. Shepard's, actually. The humans on board small deposits of their blood taken and stored frequently, just in case of emergency. Looks like it will come in handy today."

She prepared an IV stand with one of the bags, and hooked it to a tube. She then inserted the needle-point at the end of the tube into the crook of Shepard's elbow, and the tube filled with red, running down from the bag and into Jane's arm.

"Garrus, she's going to be fine."

The Turian breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're lucky that cut didn't cross her trachea. She'd have been dead in seconds."

She rummaged through a different drawer in the rolling cart and procured a sanitary sponge. She turned to the sink by her side and ran some lukewarm water into a small bowl, damping the sponge and gently washing the blood away from Jane's neck.

"Can I?"

Chakwas eyed him, noting his haggard expression before handing over the sponge.

"Be careful."

She didn't need to tell him. He went slowly, making sure not to touch her fresh stitches. When he'd cleaned the blood from her neck, he moved on to wash her hand, which was stained from her attempt to hold the injury closed.

Chakwas placed a bandage over her Jane's cut and watched Garrus for a few moments, but sensed that they would be better off left alone when Jane regained consciousness.

"She's doing well, Garrus," she updated him, switching the now-empty bag of blood for the full one. "Her breathing is very strong now. She will probably wake up soon. I'll be in crew quarters grabbing a cup of coffee, so if you yell, I'll hear you."

With that, Chakwas exited the Med-Bay, leaving Garrus sitting weakly in a collapsible chair at Jane's side.

After the second bag of blood was about halfway drained, her eyelids fluttered open. Her first instinct was to remove the heart monitor and attempt to pull the needle out of her arm, but before she could succeed, she found a large, three-fingered hand on top of her own.

She stared at him for a moment, and her other hand flew to her throat as she recalled. The cut was now covered by a large gauze bandage.

"How bad is it?"

He looked down. "Bad. About four inches across, half-inch deep. I..." He could hardly say it. "I'm sorry."

She reached up and touched his face softly. "That was a stupid idea."

He nodded sadly. "I know. I just wanted to help you get out some of your anger, but you're right. It was asinine, and I'll never spar with you again."

"That's not fair!" she protested. "How am I supposed to redeem myself?"

"You don't need to redeem anything. I know you were holding back on me. You didn't use any biotics, which you've been more than proficient at lately for now-evident reasons, and that punch you gave me? Barely even felt it. Obviously you weren't trying."

She flushed with chagrin. "Actually, that punch almost broke my hand."

"It's a good thing you're human," he said lightly, trying to make her smile. "A Krogan or Turian Shepard would be a force of unstoppable destruction."

She scowled at him, feeling uncomfortably pathetic in her hospital bed. "I already am."

He smiled, raising her hand to his mouth and kissing it sweetly. "That you are, Shepard."

* * *

(A/N): Well, I still have a few general ideas left, but I'm starting to run low on creative juices. If anyone has something they'd like to see happen plot-wise, or specific character appearances, now is a great time to request! I will credit any ideas I use. :)


	19. Chapter 19: Answers

In the End of the World

Chapter 19: Answers

* * *

Jane wore a shirt without a collar that day. The medi-gel had helped heal her wound quickly, but a scar remained, slashing diagonally downward from the center of her throat. She was actually quite proud of it; it made her look dangerous, and this was a good day to look that way. So today, as she pressed the button to comm the Illusive Man, her shirt bore no collar.

Miranda fidgeted in the chair beside her. She was bound to it, and a gag had been pressed firmly into her mouth and tied there. The woman now had a a black eye, and her hair was matted with blood. Jack had taken a lot of pleasure in aiding Garrus interrogate her, but as they had gotten only very little information out of her, she looked much worse for the wear. Her prior injuries had been tended to with little effort; instead of some sort of cast for her ankle, she'd been given a few thick bandages to wrap it in, forcing her to hop. Her shoulder had also been roughly shoved back into place, causing a build up of scar tissue that left the joint inflamed and searing.

Jane shot a glare at her. "Do not fuck this up for me, or so help you God, it will be the last thing you do."

The woman looked up at her with pleading eyes, and Shepard responded with cold indifference. "If you really had any value for your life, you wouldn't have given me all this wonderful new strength to use against you."

"Shepard. I was expecting to hear from you sometime soon." The Illusive Man sounded wary. He must have realized his plan had gone wrong when Miranda had stopped responding to his communications.

"Cram it," she growled. "I have questions that you're going to answer."

"Ask anything you want. It sounds like you already know the only thing I had to hide from you."

"Then I'll start with the ones Miranda already failed to help me with. Was Jacob aware that you were drugging me?"

"No." He sounded sincere, but she wasn't convinced.

"How do I know that's not a lie?"

"I suppose you don't. If you'd like, you may dispose of him. He is an ordinary soldier, and he does not have any particular talents that will be sorely missed."

Ouch. Poor Jacob.

"Alright, that's good enough for me. Next question: What are the potential side-effects to this drug, and why is it that I was never really high? I've seen those who fall victim to red-sand. It's pathetic. Yet I still remained a functioning being while on the stuff."

"It's not a true red sand."

She stared at the hologram of him as he took a deep drag on his cigarette. "How so?"

"It started off as red sand, but we altered it. Purified it, and attempted to isolate it to only the part of the drug that supplements biotic powers. A lot of the toxins were removed, which is why we were able to give you such high doses without risking fatality. It is also the reason that you never got the high; we turned it, instead of a recreational drug, into a substance that permanently changes your brain chemistry to work more effectively, particularly in regard to biotics."

"Permanently?" she repeated, angry. "What else do I have to look forward to - _permanently_?"

"Like I said, your brain functions better now. You won't need as much sleep. You'll be faster and smarter, and you will retain knowledge at a very impressive rate. The fact that you are able to even have this conversation indicates that some of the rage the drug produces has worn off. Judging from the moment I stopped receiving communications with Miranda, you've been clean for... Two days?"

Jane nodded.

"Excellent. That's a very quick recovery. Your mental stability seems to be at normal levels, given the circumstances."

"Stop examining me!" Jane snapped. "Why did you drug me?"

"To improve you," he explained between puffs. "Biotics were always a weak spot on your file. It was only incidental that the drug has made you a better soldier in other ways."

"And you thought it would be a good idea to alienate one of the few people allied with you by turning her into an experiment?"

"Incorrect. You are not an experiment. You are the culmination of two decades' worth of experiments. Shepard, you are humanity's only hope at this time. I'm trying to fortify you."

"Then you should have asked before pumping me full of chemicals!"

He slowly exhaled smoke. "Perhaps you're right, but what's done is done."

Jane picked up a knife from the table in front of her and turned to Miranda, who was shaking her head, eyes full of fear.

"One last thing - this one's really more of a request than a question." She ran the knife slowly down Miranda's face, leaving only the tiniest of scratches. "Stop going after Liara, or I will make you watch while I cut this harpy into bits."

"To be honest, Shepard, Miranda's life is not a bargaining tool. I would prefer all the same that you don't kill her, but it will not motivate me to call off the attack on Dr. T'soni."

"Oh, I'll find motivation for you," she sneered.

"I actually had something in mind."

The commander raised one eyebrow at him. "Yes?"

"Don't be so quick to write off all of Cerberus for drugging you. It was for the good of humanity that we did it. We still want to help you take down the Collectors, and if you continue to let us aid you, we'll let your Asari friend live. However, my men will be watching her. If you go rogue on me and decide the Collectors aren't worth your time anymore, the girl is as good as dead."

She glared at him. "I'll stop the Collectors, don't you worry about that. But you will _not_ touch Liara. Ever."

"Sounds like we have a deal."

"Shut the hell up."

She clicked the comm off, remembering the "good old days" when she only had the Counsil to hang up on.

"Shepard, are you done with the call?" Tali asked, entering the room hesitantly.

"Yeah. Did you need something?"

The Quarian walked slowly into the room staring firmly at the ground.

"What's going on?" Jane asked, concerned.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling out her holstered shotgun and aiming for Miranda.

Before Jane could say anything, she shot, hitting Miranda in the back of the head. A bit of blood ran down Jane's face as she stared, unblinking, at the corpse before her.

"What the fuck?"

She didn't sound angry, so that was a good sign. It was more shock than anything else in her voice.

"I had to. I couldn't handle it anymore. She had me turned against you after the blood test, thinking you weren't the friend I had trusted since the SR-1. She is responsible for anything that might happen to Liara by giving away her last-known position. She was a spy and a traitor, and I could not sleep or eat knowing someone like that was permitted to live on our ship."

"You know, you could have just told me," Jane replied, slightly amused, wiping the blood from her face.

Now Tali was shocked. "You are... okay with this?"

"I wanted her dead just as much as you did. Garrus put me in a dilemma, and I was trying to figure out when you walked in if it would be 'moral' enough for him if I shoved her out the air lock. Or dropped her off, naked and weaponless, on the Vorcha homeworld. Or fed her to a Thresher Maw. Actually, I had a lot of good ideas, but I don't think he would have approved of any."

"It's strange to think that someone's opinion matters to you now," Tali chuckled. "After all this time, the independent and unphasable Shepard is relying on others for guidance?"

"Oh, please," she snorted. "You're the best friend I've ever had. I rely on you every day. If you hadn't come with me, honestly, I don't feel like I would have the guts to face the Collectors. I need you here. And Garrus too. Having you two here is the only thing that's kept me sane while throwing all of us into the fire on impossible missions where billions of lives are at stake. Truly."

Tali hugged her. "Cerberus couldn't change you if they tried."

"And they sure as hell did," Jane laughed, returning the hug.

* * *

(A/N): RE: KILL MIRANDA: So glad we agree.

RE: Shep going rogue on TIM: For now, she can't afford to... But we shall see what the future holds with more updates.

RE: Tali romance / new places: Definite yes to the change of scenery. I'm tired of writing about that goddamn elevator. As far as Tali goes, I have some ideas for her, but not sure they're ready to be employed (if they happen at all). Is anyone else looking for some action for Tali, or do we prefer her as the badass little Quarian who doesn't need a man?

Thanks for the advice, everyone! Keep it coming if you have more ideas!


	20. Chapter 20: Memories

In the End of the World

Chapter 20: Memories

* * *

Jane held back tears after reading Pressly's datapad and seeing all the pictures she'd found in the wreckage of the SR-1. Pressly's entry had been especially heart-wrenching. Just as he had finally begun to talk to and trust the other species on the Normandy, he'd died.

A few of the photos included the faces from her deceased crew members. Jane set these pictures aside, and decided to make a small memorial wall that she would dedicate to those who had died serving on the Normandy.

She picked up the next item in the stack, and smiled back at the picture of Jenkins and Kaiden, who grinned up at her. Maybe she would mail it to Kaiden. She definitely didn't plan on seeing him again after their last encounter on Horizon.

She picked up another datapad. This one was longer than Pressly's, but it didn't have a name assigned to it. She wondered if it belonged to someone who was still alive, and if they would be uncomfortable with her reading it, but that was the only way she could find out who it belonged to.

* * *

Log 1: _"I've only known her for a few weeks. This is ridiculous. I need to get a grip. I told Chakwas I'm going out of my head, but it turns out she doesn't know anything about __**mental**__ health. Why doesn't this ship have a psychologist? It's full of soldiers who need frequent mental evaluations, yet you have to take shore leave just to talk to someone for an hour. Anyway, Chakwas suggested I start a datapad to get it written down and out of my head. This is totally inappropriate. We are at war, but all I can think about... What's the point to this? If I just keep talking about her, that's all I will be thinking about still."_

Log 2: _"It kind of worked, I guess. I didn't think about her much yesterday, so I'll try it again. She talked to me today. I think I made an idiot of myself, but I'm not really sure because I didn't pay any attention. Something about the last mission, or about stopping Saren? Yeah, I must have come across like a creep. I wonder what she thinks of me. I think she's admirable. And she smells good."_

Log 3: _"Definitely scared her off today. Said something about polishing guns that came out like an innuendo, and she gave me the weirdest look. Shit, I wish I could be normal to her. She'll never look at me that way."_

Log 4: _"Keeping this datapad is not working at all. I have no idea why I am still writing in it."_

Log 5: _"She doesn't hate me after all. I made her laugh today. It was the most amazing thing I've ever felt. Maybe she'll let me be her friend."_

Log 6: _"No. She is not yours to defend, and you cannot rip out Alenko's throat for talking to her. No, no, no. Stupid."_

Log 7: _"Well, Saren's dead. A lot of other people are too. The whole Citadel will have to be remodeled, and clearly there's more to the Reapers than just Sovereign. But here I am, still on the same ship with her, and I still haven't gotten the courage to say a damn thing to her about how I feel. I want to keep fighting this fight. I can't risk having to leave the ship over the tiniest possibility that she and I could... Could what? We're too different. It would never work. There's nothing there, get ahold of yourself."_

Log 8: _"This datapad may have actually backfired. It has become painfully obvious that I am in love with her. The Counsil is having us do pointless geth-chasing starting tomorrow. I'll tell her at the end of the day, since we aren't doing much to save the galaxy anymore. If she rejects me, maybe I'll emulate a Justicar. That seems like a worthy goal. I think she would approve."_

* * *

Jane set down the datapad with shaking hands. The last entry had sounded too familiar to her to be coincidence. For several minutes she sat at her desk, wondering what to do. She recalled a strange note that had appeared on her desk about a week ago, after she'd left Garrus alone in her room, and dug through her drawers to retrieve it. She went back to the datapad and highlighted one of the words in the last entry, then used a hack that would disable the easy-read feature that automatically translated the words to a language the holder of the pad would understand.

A sinking feeling settled in her stomach when the letters changed into strange symbols she didn't recognize. The word was still highlighted. She stared at it and then at the note. The writing on the note was sloppy compared to the typed word, but it was obvious that they were intended to be the same symbol: "love." Garrus was in love with her. She dropped the datapad, and it shattered when it hit the ground.

* * *

(A/N): I know, it's another short chapter. It was either that or no update at all. I know it may not seem like a huge shocker that Garrus loves Shep, but keep in mind that she only had a few failed relationships before him, and is a generally clueless person. It took her how many chapters to figure out the drug situation? Thanks for the reviews and advice; I'll take them into consideration!


	21. Chapter 21: Progress

In the End of the World

Chapter 21: Progress

* * *

Jane had been indecisive about how to approach Garrus after reading his datapad. At first she'd thought to break it off with him. However, this approach seemed unfair to him, and she'd have a difficult time justifying it without confessing that she knew how he felt about her. Her next solution was to confront him about it, and tell him what she had seen. This plan, unfortunately, put her in the awkward position of explaining to him that her feelings toward him, while strong, were not love.

Rather than face the problem, Jane decided to ignore it for the time being. Their next mission was bound to be difficult, and she wanted to go into it on good terms with all her squad - Garrus in particular. He was a natural leader, and she needed to know he could focus on the mission in case they would be forced to divide into teams.

On her pass through the CIC, Kelly Chambers caught her attention.

"Commander Shepard! I was hoping you'd stop by," the young woman smiled at her.

"Yes, Chambers?"

"Jack would like to speak with you in Engineering. She didn't sound urgent, so I didn't comm you."

"Thanks."

Jane turned toward the elevator, but Kelly stopped her again.

"Commander?" She sounded uncertain. "I heard what happened with Cerberus. Tali had expressed some concerns to me about potential drug use, and I was very glad that the air has been cleared. For the record, I held full support that you have always been a true friend to her, regardless of any stimulants."

Jane nodded. "I appreciate that."

"Is there anything else I can help you with, Commander?"

"I should go."

She took the elevator down to Deck Four, then decended the stairs to Jack's small corner of the ship. The light was dim and red, and there were no personal belongings other than a bed and a desk. Jack was sitting forward on one of the scrap ship parts, looking deep in thought. Her arms were crossed, and the dark ink of her tattoos reflected the red light eerily, making her almost seem to glow.

"Jack."

Jane was always careful around Jack. Although the woman remained calm on the ship, she was a deadly force when unleashed against her foes. While Jane was not afraid of her, she was smart enough to be cautious.

"Shepard."

"I got the note you left with Chambers. What did you want to talk about?"

"You know I don't like this touchy-feely shit, but since I interrogated Miranda, I know about what happened. What they did to you." She looked away. "I know how it feels. They tortured me for years, trying to create some sort of biotic god. Your experience was a lot different from mine - probably not the kind of thing that would fuck you up like it did to me - but I thought... No, that sounds stupid."

She shifted uncomfortably.

"What is it, Jack?"

"If you need someone to talk to, I can... try to be there for you," she muttered. "Since I know what it's like to be turned into a human weapon by those Cerberus fucks. Sure wish someone had been there for me, anyway."

Jane was shocked, but tried not to let it show.

"Thanks, but I'll be okay."

She started to walk away.

"Jack?" she hesitated.

"Yeah?"

"I really appreciate the thought."

"Just don't get used to it," Jack grumbled to Jane's retreating back.

* * *

"Commander? EDI just updated me. The Reaper IFF is fully installed, and theoretically, we are ready to travel through the Omega Four Relay."

She sat up and pulled away from Garrus, who made a sound of disapproval and attempted to pull her back down to the bed.

"Garrus, didn't you hear him?" Jane asked, slightly annoyed. "The IFF is finally installed."

"It can't wait an hour? Or three?" His voice was deep as he propped himself up and kissed her on her exposed side.

She sighed contentedly, and leaned into the touch, just before Joker interrupted again.

"Commander, I know you're in there. The ship's AI is stationed right next to me, and she knows where everyone is on this ship at all times. Comm me back."

She stood, shocked, and Garrus fell back to the bed, disgruntled.

"Does that mean he knows you're in here?" she demanded.

He shrugged. "He knows anyway."

Jane whirled on the Turian. "He _what_?"

"Joker can't know?" he asked as his brow plate raised. "You told Mordin, Tali, and even Jacob."

"No, I didn't tell any of them. They figured it out. Why would you tell him without even running it by me?"

"Well, I didn't tell Joker either. It sort of... He already knew I have feelings for you, but just not that we're together. It slipped out, I guess. Poor word choice."

He was rambling, and Jane grew irritated. She clicked the button on her omni-tool that would allow her to respond to the comm he'd sent to her room's loudspeaker.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here."

"About time. This is kind of big news, you know. Oh, and hi, Garrus."

Jane glared at him as he shrugged and replied, "Joker."

"So, Commander, what'll it be? Stock up on supplies, or straight for the relay?"

She tried to sound enthusiastic. "Let's go kick some Collector ass."

"Aye aye, Commander. Setting course for Omega Four Relay. ETA: Two hours. Joker out."

* * *

(A/N): I know, it's another short update, and it took days even for that much. Life is hectic. Sorry!


	22. Chapter 22: Countdown

In the End of the World

Chapter 22: Countdown

* * *

Garrus was stunned. "We're going right now? Just like that?"

Jane stood, throwing her armor on top of a thin, protective layer of clothing. "Put some pants on, Vakarian. We're headed to war."

"Couldn't you have told him to take a few laps first, warm the engines... We were sort of in the middle of something."

"Are you kidding me? Every hour we waste is another potential colony they harvest, and all you can think about is sex?" She glared at him. "I guess I gave you more credit than you deserved."

"Shepard, that's not what I mean," he said, sounding exasperated. "It's not the sex I care about. It's you. I wanted to talk to you about that before we go out there, because we might not come back."

She went cold. This is what she'd been afraid of.

"Can't it wait until afterward?" She tried to keep the pleading note from her voice.

"What if there is no afterward? I have a few things I need you to hear, and a few questions that I need to you answer for me. About us. What this is, and what we'd be coming back to - if we do come back."

"Don't think like that, Garrus. We _will_ come back." She zipped her armor and then kissed him firmly.

"Shepard, if we don't come back, I want you to know -"

"Don't," she ordered, her eyes hard.

"Let me finish. I -"

"I said, _don't._ I am not willing to hear this right now. We have some nasty goddamn alien bugs to fight, so get your clothes on, help me assemble the team, and then cover my ass like usual. Do _not_ bring this up again. So, conference room in ten. Suit up."

As she exited her cabin, she heard his cold, almost sarcastic reply.

"Yes, Commander."

* * *

Jane stared at all their faces. This could be the last time she'd ever see Thane. His dark eyes still gave her chills, but the thought of never seeing them again made her heart ache. Grunt and Jack and Zaeed, all residents of the Engineering floor. She should have spend more time with them, dropped by to talk to them every time she went to see Tali. Samara, the Asari Matriarch, who had sworn to help her on her mission in whatever way possible. Jacob, who still avoided her gaze. Mordin, who eagerly awaited her instructions. Tali, whose mask remained expressionless, but whose posture belayed attentiveness to her friend. Lastly, Garrus, who she refused to look at. She had no idea what she was supposed to do now.

After giving her squad what she'd hoped had been an inspirational speech, Jane went to the cockpit with Joker and waited nervously. She had the sinking feeling that this time she wouldn't come back alive. She highly doubted that Cerberus would spend billions more credits to bring her back again if she died on the Collector base, even if they could somehow manage to recover her body from it. The thought of death, now that its threat was looming so close, shook her. Jane wanted to spend these last moments with Garrus, but she'd already burned that bridge.

After a few minutes of staring into the void, her omni-tool made a chiming sound. She opened it up and read her new extranet message:

"_Shepard,_

_Yes, I'm on the run from Cerberus now. I appreciate the tip. I couldn't afford to message you right away because I'm sure our communications are being monitored, and I didn't want to broadcast my location. Now it seems they have backed off, but they are still watching me._

_When you told me a few weeks ago that you were working with them, I was immediately suspicious - rightly so, as it now seems. You need to stop eating their food immediately. Did you ever notice how Miranda's office is located directly next to the kitchen? She's slipping you drugs, Shepard. Sounds like red sand, or something else that can boost your biotic power._

_I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. I wish I could be there to help you. Please, respond immediately so I know you are okay._

_Always, Liara_."

She smiled at the news, glad to finally be sure that Liara was still alive. Jane typed out a quick response, outlining the encounter with Miranda and The Illusive Man, and finished by letting Liara know that they were headed for the Collector Base, and to not expect another reply.

She took a deep breath as she sent it, and fought back the small panic that was starting to grow inside her. This wasn't just another mission, it was the most important thing she'd ever do, right next to saving the Citadel from Sovereign.

"We're here, Commander."

Joker's voice, while steady, sounded small. Directly before the Normandy lay the Omega Four relay, glowing red to indicate its danger.

"Do you want to say anything to the crew?"

Her shaking hands grasped the microphone he offered her. "Everyone, this is the moment we've all been waiting for. We're about to attempt passage through the Omega Four relay. In the event of mission failure, I want you all to know how much your loyalty means to me. We're going to come out the other side of that relay, destroy the Collectors, and go home. I'll give you a moment to say anything you need to before we go."

Most of the crew had gathered on Deck Three in the Mess Hall, and she was glad she couldn't see their faces as they said goodbyes and waited tensely. After a few minutes, she picked up the microphone again.

"Alright. This is it. EDI, count us down."

"Yes, Commander. Entering mass relay in T-minus ten. Nine. Eight..."

Jane closed her eyes as she felt the engines hum beneath her feet.

"Seven. Six. Five..."

She really should have gone down to find Garrus.

"Four. Three. Two..."

Joker grabbed her hand and held it as tightly as he could manage.

"One. Entering Omega Four relay."

* * *

(A/N): I hope you guys liked this chapter! It took a lot of work. Any input on how Shepard responded to Garrus? More insight to her decision will be revealed next chapter, so you don't have to love it.


	23. Chapter 23: The Apex

In the End of the World

Chapter 23: The Apex

* * *

She held her breath as the Normandy lurched forward, propelled to speeds faster than light by the mass relay. The few brief seconds felt like a lifetime before the ship appeared in the new system.

At first Jane wanted to smile, but the huge deposits of debris in this new system threatened to breach the Normandy's defenses, and Joker was forced to take evasive maneuvers that tossed the crew around.

As they finally rose above the layer of metal fragments that littered the system, EDI directed them to the Collector base. As they neared it, its hull began to open, and a very familiar-looking ship emerged.

Jane snarled at the sight of it. She'd know that ship anywhere; it was the one that had spaced her.

"Time to show our new teeth. Fire the main gun!"

A beam of blue shot from the ship, setting fire to the Collector ship. They fired back as the Normandy swooped forward to get another shot. A second beam of blue collided with the ship, and a burst of light surged toward the Normandy, taking out its generators, as the Collector ship exploded.

The Normandy fell toward the gravitational pull exerted upon it and landed on the Collector base, skidding to a halt as sparks flew from the impact.

As recommended by EDI, Jane sent Tali, her tech expert, through the vents to open a passage for the rest of the team. They split into two groups, the second one led by Garrus, to divide the Collector forces and avoid a massive firefight that would buy their enemy time to regroup and send more support. Jane's group met up with Garrus' at the door just as Tali managed to hack it open, slamming it shut behind them in the faces of the encircling Collectors.

EDI warned her that the path they needed to take would be covered in seekers, too many for Mordin's serum to protect them against. Samara stepped forward, offering to shield a small group with her biotics.

"Vakarian, lead the diversion team. Samara will shield Zaeed and Tali and I while we open the door for you."

She didn't look to see his expression as Garrus replied with a quick, "I'm on it."

They fought through more Collectors, plagued by Harbinger who kept possessing the ugly things in a vapid attempt to kill Jane. Harbinger was far less intimidating than Sovereign had been, constantly shouting empty threats at the commander.

"I know you feel this. This hurts you!"

"Shut the hell up!" she yelled back, firing a bullet into the skull of the Collector he possessed.

Zaeed grinned at her. "I love watching their goddamn heads explode."

"Shepard, I can't... hold on... much longer," Samara gasped, hunched over with exertion as she attempted to maintain the shield over them.

"Just hang on, Samara. I see the way out!"

They charged the exit, and Samara hurled her shield backward, destroying the swarm, just before the doors closed.

EDI confirmed that the platforms next to them would take them to the control console, which they could overload and use to destroy the base. However, the approaching hostiles complicated the situation. Jane decided to take two of them with her, while the rest of them would guard the way out.

For the first time since she'd walked out on him, Jane finally looked at Garrus' face. His look was hard, and he was obviously determined to go with her, but she wouldn't allow it. She knew that the further they went into the base, the less likely they were to come out alive. The thought of having to sacrifice him or Tali for the mission made her sick.

"Grunt, Thane, you're coming with me."

Garrus' eyes widened as he demanded, "_What_?" and Tali spat a, "Like hell, Shepard."

"Who better to fight with than a Krogan and an assassin?" she questioned them.

"Bullshit, Commander," Garrus growled. "I should be there fighting with you and you know it."

"Do not attempt to undermine my authority, Soldier," Jane snapped back at him. "I need you to command the second unit while I'm gone. Tali, you're a good friend, but I need firepower more than support right now."

The Quarian made a sound of discontent as Garrus shot daggers at Shepard with his eyes, but neither protested out loud.

"If we're done wasting time, let's get a move on."

It was daunting to shoot while the platforms moved beneath and around them, conveying enemies toward them. After taking down dozens of targets, they reached their destination to find the reason the Collectors had been harvesting humans.

"It appears to be a... human Reaper," Thane whispered, staring up at the being, which dangled from the ceiling by life-support tubes.

"Nasty son of a bitch," Grunt remarked, taking aim.

They shot the tubes and the reaper fell, allowing them to hack the console and detonate the base. Before they could leave, however, the reaper powered up.

Using heavy artillery, the three soldiers blew it up, running to safety just in time to escape the explosion as the Normandy bore them away at faster than light speeds.

The crew was ecstatic, but Jane refused to celebrate. This was only one small victory in their ensuing war, and she would not let herself think for a single moment that they had won until the reapers were no longer a galactic threat. She ignored the congratulations and slaps on the back, heading straight for the cockpit.

"Commander! Can you believe it?" Joker grinned up at her from his chair. "We _nailed_ those bastards!"

"Citadel, Joker. Immediately. I need to speak to the Counsil."

"Whoa, are you sure about that? You do remember what happened last time..."

Jane nodded gravely, a glint of determination in her eyes. "This time they'll listen. I'll make sure of it."

* * *

(A/N): They've finally stopped stagnating and moved forward in plot! I can start playing game three again. I thought this was going to be more focused on Garrus, but I had too much plot concentrated into a thousand words to ramble on about him like I planned to. Fluff lovers, be patient! Oh, and I'm a beta reader now, if anyone needs a read-through.


	24. Chapter 24: Inevitable

In the End of the World

Chapter 24: Inevitable

* * *

It felt like a dream. Everything seemed unreal, and time seemed to have almost stopped as the world moved in slow-motion around her. She stared at the huge machine as it slowly descended from the sky. It looked out of place, like something from a vid. Her mouth fell open slightly as she cried out some warning. As a red beam pierced the buildings and ground near the Reaper, it occurred to Jane that she should run. Just as she started to turn, as slowly as the world around her, the beam hit the window in front of her, sending her flying back into the wall.

* * *

"Shepard? Shepard! Get up!"

Her eyes fluttered open to see her former captain standing over her. A searing pain ran through her head. There was blood in her eyes. Anderson helped her to her feet and handed her a submachine gun.

"We've got to get moving."

She followed him out of the building, limping, to see the sky now darkened by ten, no, twenty-some Reapers. Aircrafts zipped through the sky, some toward the Reapers and some in retreat. More than a few were in flames. Smoke billowed from the crumbling buildings and falling jets.

They raced through the ruins and corpses, shooting down husks and some new, unknown enemy until they reached the Normandy, where Kaiden Alenko waited for them. Both Alenko and the ship were a sight for Jane's sore eyes.

She leapt on board, grabbing the hand Kaiden extended to her, and turned back to see Anderson still on the ground.

"Captain, what the hell are you waiting for?" she yelled over the whir of the Normandy's engines and the deep, reverberating hum emanating from the Reapers.

"I can't leave, Shepard," he shouted back, ceremonial robes whipping around him as the engines blasted him with hot air.

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Sir."

"Earth needs me here to fight, and it needs you rallying support. Get any help you can, and build an army that will send the Reapers to hell. Here!"

He tossed her something small and metal, and she caught it.

"My dog tags?"

"Welcome back, Spectre Shepard. Make the galaxy proud!"

As the Normandy rose, he saluted her, then ran toward the nearest evacuation ship. The hull closed as Jane watched another ship split in half on contact with a Reaper beam and fall back to the ground with a burst of fire.

She shook with anger and helplessness as her slim fingers curled into fists.

[ _She had told them the whole story, and they'd stared at her in silence for several seconds afterward._

_"Commander Shepard, why don't you give us a few minutes of privacy to discuss what you just recounted to us?" the Asari Counsilman had suggested._

_"What is there to discuss?" Jane had demanded, glaring at them all. "The Reapers are coming for us. It's only a matter of time. What do you think they will do after humanity is wiped out - go back to sleep? They want to wipe out all galactic life. Humans are only the first step. If any of you give a damn about your families, friends, or your own species, you will act on what you now know and gather your military strength to prepare to resist their attacks."_

_"A moment, please, human," the Turian Counsilman had practically sneered at her._

_She'd turned heel and walked out of the room to wait for their decision. After several minutes of deliberation, they had summoned her back._

_"The Counsil has decided," the Salarian had said. "Jane Shepard, you have been declared mentally unstable by the Counsil. Out of respect for your former heroics and Spectre status, you will not suffer capital punishment. You will be incarcerated and returned to Earth."_

_For a moment she'd stared at them, stunned. Then as C-Sec seized and restrained her, she'd struggled, throwing kicks and punches wherever she could. She'd immediately regretted surrendering her weapons upon entry to the Citadel as a sign of good intent. She had, of course, left a knife in her boot, but with both arms locked behind her back, it had done her little good._

_"You fuckers will all die knowing you doomed every species in this galaxy!" she'd screamed at them, still fighting her captors as they'd hauled her from the room. _]

She brought her fist down hard on the console in front of her as her eyes welled up with tears. Six months. Six whole months she could have spent gathering forces. The Reapers may have never even gotten to Earth. How many lives could she have spared if she hadn't gone to the Counsil?

"Commander?" Kaiden said uncertainly, touching her shoulder.

She shrugged his hand off. "Shut up, Kaiden. I know I screwed up. I shouldn't have trusted Cerberus, and I shouldn't have gone to the Counsil. I don't need you to tell me. Now leave me alone."

"I was just -"

She turned on him, her face filled with both sadness and rage. "_Go. Away._"

He blinked at her, surprised by her outburst, and walked off with a sad sigh.

"Can you believe it, Commander?"

She recognized the quiet, awe-filled voice that commed her. He couldn't see her, but she quickly swiped the tears from her eyes.

"Joker? Is that really you?"

"Did you think I'd let anyone else fly my ship? Anyway, like I was saying, it doesn't feel real - seeing all those Reapers down there. All that red light. So much.. death."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I know."

* * *

Their next stop was Mars, where they retrieved the Prothean archives and, in the process, encountered Liara. If they were going to defeat the Reapers, they needed someone who was an expert on the Protheans, and Liara quite fit the bill. She joined them, almost ecstatic to see her old friend alive.

On their way out of the base, Kaiden was injured badly by a Cerberus AI. Jane took the thing down, and they recovered it to see if they could extract anything useful. Kaiden was sent off to Huerta Memorial Hospital, and once again Jane only had two squad members. As rude as Kaiden had been to her about Cerberus, both on Horizon and at the start of the Mars mission, it hurt her to see him thrown against the fallen shuttle like nothing more than a doll. They had once been friends.

Admiral Hackett's next mission for her was to locate the Turian primarch. He had last been seen on Palaven's moon, Menae, where a large part of the Palaven war was being waged. After a restless night of tossing and turning, Jane set course for Menae.

* * *

She went down alone, despite the protests of Liara and Vega. Menae was dark and bleak with many ridges and craters, similar to Earth's own moon. The sight of Palaven alight with flame was difficult to miss, as it obscured most of the sky. She wondered, not for the first time, if Garrus was possibly alive up there and if so, how much longer he would be that way.

A deep sigh escaped her lips. Palaven looked bad, but Earth had to be way worse - especially considering how much tougher the Turian fleet was than the human military. She tried not to think about Garrus as she passed the barricades, saluted by Turian soldiers who recognized her clearance.

"Did you see that? Commander Shepard is here!"

"Shepard? Of the Normandy? Maybe Palaven does stand a chance!"

"She's really going to fight with us?"

A pang shot through Jane's chest. They must not have heard about Earth yet. Menae's communications were probably down, she noted, as she glanced at the Reaper visible a few miles away. She wished she could fight the Reapers now, but her job was to gather forces. She was to do the very opposite of help Palaven; she'd been sent to recruit the fleet for Earth. She wondered what the soldiers would have to say after they found out why she was really here.

She headed straight for the person who seemed to be in charge, and he introduced himself as General Corinthus.

"General, I've come to get Primarch Fedorian," Jane announced,

A long pause. "Primarch Fedorian is dead. His shuttle was shot down an hour ago as it tried to leave the moon."

She looked down out of respect. "That's going to complicate things. I'm sorry. I hear he was a good man."

"And a friend," Corinthus replied quietly. "He would have been an outstanding diplomat."

"I need someone, General. I don't care who, as long as they can get us the Turian resources we need."

A new person out of her eyeline addressed her. "I'm on it, Shepard. We'll find you the primarch."

She froze at the familiar voice, afraid to turn and look at him. It couldn't be.

It was.

* * *

(A/N): I know. Lots of dialogue and rushing through the plot, but we needed to trudge through all that nonsense to get back to the important part! Hopefully some emotion shone through in this chapter. I tried, but it came across rather flat to me...

HEY! If you'd be interested in reading more of my work, help me choose the MC for my next Mass Effect story by going to my profile to vote on my poll! If you have a suggestion that isn't mentioned, PM me or include it in a review. Thanks for all the reads! Over 5k views and 24 follows? Whoa!


	25. Chapter 25: Menae

In the End of the World

Chapter 25: Menae

* * *

She stared into his eyes for several long moments, as if she thought she'd never see them again.

He looked back at her warily, clearly off-put by the look she was giving him. "Commander, did you hear me? I said I'd lead you to the primarch."

"Uh, yes. Good to see you, Vakarian. Lead the way."

"Palaven Command tells me that the next primarch is General Adrien Victus," Corinthus informed them.

Garrus' subharmonics hummed thoughtfully. "I was fighting alongside him this morning. We got separated when he went to bolster a flank that was breaking. Could be anywhere out there."

"We're trying to raise him," Corinthus assured them. "I'll have him rendezvous with you here."

Jane nodded at him and walked a few steps away, letting the General return to his work. She stared up at Palaven, lit up by fire in the dark sky. She wondered if Earth looked like that now. To her surprise, Garrus walked to her side and followed her gaze up to the burning planet.

"That blaze of orange - the big one - that's where I was born." He sounded calm, but his sub-harmonics were filled with grief.

She wondered why he was opening up to her like this. The last time they'd spoken was on the Collector base, when she'd ordered him to stay behind. It had been a tense exchange, particularly after their prior conversation where she had refused to discuss their relationship. He'd been so angry with her, but if she died that day, she wanted him to move on. She had refused to tell him how she felt, because she wanted to make her inevitable death as easy as possible for him.

But she hadn't died.

"I'm sorry."

She didn't know what else to say. It was true; she was sorry about Palaven, sorry that she'd hurt him before they entered the Omega Four relay, sorry that she hadn't realized she loved him until they'd shipped her off to Earth where she was sure she'd never see him again.

Half a year since Jane had last seen him. She wanted to throw her arms around him and say everything she'd worked on for six months, but in the middle of a warzone in front of dozens of Turian soldiers she'd never seen before was neither the time nor place.

"If they'd only listened to your warnings about the Reapers, we might've been ready. Maybe it would have helped if you visited Palaven."

She heard judgment in his voice that she didn't understand.

"Obviously that wasn't going to happen," she replied cautiously, and he turned away from her. His posture was rigid, even angry.

"So here you are on Menae, trying to get help."

"Yeah. Leaving Earth was the hardest... one of the hardest things I've ever done."

"But you're here asking Victus to do the same thing. Leave the fight and make nice in some board room."

"This summit is the only chance we've got," she snapped at him, irritated but not surprised at his resentfulness. "None of us is beating the Reapers alone."

"Vakarian." They turned to see a Turian with black and red armor striding toward them. "Where did you go?"

"Heavy Reaper unit on the right flank. I believe your exact words were, 'Get that thing the hell off my men,'" Garrus smirked in reply.

"Appreciated," the other Turian nodded. "Who's your human friend?"

"This is Commander Shepard of the Normandy."

"Commander Shepard," he said in surprise, holstering his assault rifle. "I know you. I'm very interested to find out what brings you here."

Her reply was formal and straight-to-business. "General Victus, you're needed off-planet. I've come to get you."

He eyed her skeptically. "It will take something beyond important for me to leave my men, or my Turian brothers and sisters, in their fight."

"Fedorian was killed," Garrus interjected. "You're the new primarch."

Shepard took a step toward him. "You're needed immediately to chair a summit and represent your people in the fight against the Reapers."

Victus was silent for several seconds. "I'm primarch of Palaven? Negotiating for a Turian hierarchy?"

"Yes."

"I've spent my whole life in the military. I'm no diplomat. I hate diplomats."

"War is your résumé. At a time like this, we need leaders who've been through hell. And honestly, uniting these races may take as much strength as defeating the Reapers. See this devastation, Primarch? Double that for Earth. I need an alliance. I need the Turian fleet."

He stared at her, then sighed. "Give me a moment to say goodbye to my men." He walked to the group of soldiers resting a few paces away.

Garrus turned to Jane. "Without him down here, there's a good chance we lose this moon."

"Without him up there, there's a good chance we lose everything."

The look in her eyes was fierce enough that he let it go.

"Think you can win this thing, Shepard?"

"I don't know, Garrus, but I'm sure as hell going to give it my best shot."

"I'm damn sure nobody else can do it."

She shifted uncomfortably. His attitude toward her was completely unreadable, and it made her feel awkward.

"General Victus, are you ready?"

He walked back over to them. "One thing: Commander I appreciate your need for our fleet, but I can't spare them. Not while my world is burning. But if the pressure could be taken off Palaven.."

Jane crossed her arms. "That's a pretty tall order."

"We need the Krogan," Victus reasoned. "I can't see us winning this thing without them. Get them to help us, and then we can help you."

"The Krogan..." she mused, turning over the idea.

"Looks like your summit just got a lot more interesting," Garrus murmured.

"If by interesting you mean difficult, then we agree." She gave him a curt nod. "It was nice to see a familiar face. Good luck, Vakarian."

"You think I'm staying behind?" he almost laughed. "Who's going to cover your six?"

She looked at him solemnly for several moments, not sharing his mirth. "Welcome aboard."

* * *

(A/N): The weird behavior will be explained soon. Don't forget to vote on the poll on my profile, and thanks for your continued support!


	26. Chapter 26: Understanding

In the End of the World

Chapter 26: Understanding

* * *

Garrus noticed a severe personality shift in Shepard since the last time he'd seen her. She was no longer the confident and optimistic soldier he had come to love. It had been several days since he'd joined her on the Normandy, and she seemed to avoid him. This was to be expected after how she'd left things between them before the Collector base, but it bothered him not knowing what was eating at her. The only times he saw her were in the Mess Hall with the rest of the crew at meal times. He noticed that she had lost some of the muscle she once had, and that she barely ate the food they brought her day after day. Mostly she just stared off, absorbed by her thoughts.

This change disturbed Garrus. He could see she carried a great deal of guilt, and wondered if this was what had changed her. After almost a week, he decided enough was enough and headed up to her cabin.

He clicked the bell and heard the chime that rang out inside the room. He waited for a moment, but heard no response. There was no audible movement inside the cabin. A frown darkened his face. He had seen her go up there after the meal a few minutes ago, and he was sure she was in there.

He opened the door anyway and slowly entered her cabin.

"Shepard? Are you in here?"

Still no answer, but he saw a shock of coppery hair behind the half-wall and moved further inside the room to investigate. She sat still on the couch, with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She stared at the table in front of her, but her eyes were unfocused. When he stepped into her view, it snapped her out of her state.

"Oh. Garrus. Did you knock?"

"Shepard, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just... thinking."

He sat next to her. He was still angry with her, but something about her current state made him feel protective, like he should pull her close to him and hide her from the negativity that was surrounding her.

"Talk to me."

She looked up at him, still hugging her knees to her chest. There was a tiredness in her eyes that he'd never seen before.

"I'm scared, Garrus."

He gave her an incredulous look. "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared that the Reapers will win. That Earth - and Palaven, and every other planet - will be destroyed, and I won't be able to save them."

"Now you care about Palaven?" He grew angry. Hadn't she stayed on Earth for six months ignoring both Garrus and his homeworld, then finally sought out the Turians to steal their fleet? It made sense for her to care about her own world the most, but maybe if she had visited him just once as the famous Commander Shepard, the Turians would have prepared for the attack. They could have evacuated the children and the elderly. Saved so many.

"Garrus, I'm sorry." She hung her head with her face in her palms. "I'm just under orders. I did everything I could. I'll try to get some Krogan support for Palaven, but we need an aerial assault from the Turians, or Earth is totally lost."

"Since when have your orders come before the welfare of an entire species?" he growled. "Three years ago, I boarded your ship with the impression that you and I both put justice before rules. We had so many conversations where you told me my father was wrong about me. That I should have been a Spectre. What changed?"

"Nothing changed!" Her face filled with confusion and anxiety. "I'm trying to do what's best for _both_ our planets."

"Then where the hell were you for the last six months while I tried and failed to rally my people, the Krogans, the Quarians, the Hanar, the Drell, and every other species in the damn galaxy? You're the famous one. The rest of us were left behind. No one believed me. No one has even heard my name. So how was I supposed to convince any of them without your help?"

Suddenly she understood why he was so angry with her.

"Garrus, when I went to the Counsil after the Collector base, they incarcerated me. Sent me to Earth and locked me in a cell. Called me a traitor and a psychopath, and accused me of crimes I never committed."

He examined her face carefully. "You were... in prison? The whole time?"

" the Reapers hit us, the Defense Committee took me out of my cell to ask my advice, and during the meeting a Reaper shot us. Killed them. Anderson and I ran, and he gave me back my ship and told me to gather forces. He keeps sending me these updates on vid-comm about what it's like down there. Palaven is bad, Garrus, but Earth... That's where they're concentrating the attack. A few of them went to other planets, like Palaven and Rannoch, to try to divide our militaries. I think they know we would actually have a chance if we all stood against them together."

"The Counsil commed us to tell us you had taken a shuttle back to Earth to be with your people. I waited to hear from you, but went six months without a word. I didn't know you were even alive still. Tali, Liara, Wrex, everyone... we thought you only cared about saving Earth." He stood, his expression unreadable, and paced a few times. "And if you hadn't been imprisoned...?"

"I'd have been on the Normandy racing from Palaven to Rannoch - and everywhere in between - in a heartbeat." He could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"So you do care about Turians?"

"No more or less than any other sentient race, including humans. There is one specific Turian, however, that I do rather favor."

He smiled wryly at her, and her heart fluttered. "I guess there's a certain human girl who's not so bad herself. Goodnight, Shepard."

Her face fell as he walked out of the cabin, and when the doors slid shut behind him, she slumped back into her couch. Should she have made her meaning more obvious? Or did he only pretend to misunderstand her to spare them both an awkward conversation in which he would ultimately reject her? Maybe it would be safer to test the waters with him first, she decided, before baring her soul to him. At least they seemed to be on friendly terms again.

* * *

(A/N): If you're enjoying this story, read my new oneshot about Garrus entitled Damn War. It's in desperate need of some feedback. Thanks for reading!


	27. Chapter 27: Wounded

In the End of the World

Chapter 27:

* * *

Jane felt obligated to visit Kaiden at the hospital. She didn't know much about medicine, but she did know he'd looked grim when they'd carried him away on a gurney. When she entered his room, his eyes were closed. His face was still badly bruised, and his skin was unnaturally pale under the fluorescent lights. She sat in the chair beside the foot of his bed, looking away uncomfortably as she waited for him to wake up.

She didn't have to wait for long; the sound of her movements had roused him. His eyes blinked open, and he tried to sit up to look at her before wincing and laying back in the bed, holding his side.

"Don't get up, Major. You're injured."

"It's a habit to stand when one's commanding officer enters the room," Kaiden replied wryly, still gingerly touching his ribs.

"Well, consider yourself temporarily relieved from duty."

His eyes widened. "Are you - are you asking me to leave the Normandy?"

She sighed. "I don't know. You used to be a very loyal part of my team, Alenko. It seems like things may have changed now.

"Commander, I know I was being an ass. You say you're done with Cerberus? Well, I believe you. You certainly killed enough Cerberus troops on Mars to convince even a skeptic like me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I was wrong to not trust you. And I'm sorry. I'm ready to follow you into this war, no matter how you choose to lead... If you'll let me."

One corner of her mouth lifted in a cocky smile. "Then your orders are to rest. I need you in fighting condition as soon as possible."

"On the double, Commander," he smiled back, tired.

Jane turned to leave.

"Oh. Commander?"

"Yes, Kaiden?"

"Will... um... will Tali'Zorah be joining us on this mission?"

She chuckled softly at the blush that grew on his pale cheeks. "I'll do what I can. Now get some sleep, Major."

As she walked out the door, she almost ran into Udina.

"Oh - Shepard." He was surprised, but he didn't seem like he felt sheepish or guilty, despite the fact that the last time he'd seen her, he'd let the other Counsil members imprison her over something they now knew they had been wrong about. "The Counsil has been waiting to hear from you for a week now. Where have you been?"

She snarled at him, quickly drawing her switch-blade and flicking it open to press it against his throat.

"The Counsil can fuck themselves. Give me one good reason not to gut you right here."

People were staring and running away from the scene, but Jane didn't take her vicious eyes off Udina.

"Be rational, Commander," he scoffed, pushing the knife away. "In case you don't recall, the Counsil has reinstated your Spectre status, pardoning your crimes. You work for us again, and we expect you to act like it this time."

"You're the ones that need me, not the other way around." Jane flipped the blade closed and deftly slipped it back into her pocket, striding toward the elevator as he trailed behind her.

"Shepard, where the hell are you going? The Counsil has urgent matters to discuss with you!"

"You know how to comm me," she replied offhandedly. "Maybe if you send some new guns, stock my on-ship bar, and kiss my ass enough, I'll consider letting you come crawling back to me. And you're welcome."

"For what?" he demanded, bewildered by her strange, defiant attitude.

"For saving the galaxy twice, for recommending you to the Counsil when you were planning to stab me in the back, for not sticking you like a damn pig... Take your pick."

She turned to face him, now on the elevator, and pressed the button that would take her to the Docking Bay.

"You can't do this," Udina sputtered, clearly unprepared for her reaction.

"I already did," she smirked as the doors closed in his face.

When she passed through the Normandy's airlock and headed for her cabin, she was stopped by a serious-looking Turian.

"Shepard," he greeted her. "How is Major Alenko?"

She sighed. "He looks like shit... But he's awake. It will probably be a few months before he's up to coming back."

Garrus frowned, confused. "He's coming back? I thought he didn't trust you anymore."

"He apologized. Asked if I'd let him back on board."

"Do you think he'll suddenly believe you and be able to follow your orders without questioning your motives?"

He sounded suspicious, and Jane frowned at him.

"People change, Garrus. Why does it sound like you're going to be hesitant to welcome him back?"

He shifted. "I'm not sure we can rely on someone so fickle. I'm just looking out for your - _our_ - best interests, Shepard."

"I'm aware that you don't have a great history together. Is that going to color your future on this ship with him? We're dealing with something way bigger than any of us, and I can't afford to keep a team whose members are distracted by competitiveness and petty jealousy."

His mandibles went slack as he balked at her. "How... how did you know we didn't get along? Did he tell you? That son of a bitch -"

"No!" she rushed, cutting him off. "He didn't say anything. I'm just good at reading you."

That was a lie if she'd ever told one. She only knew because she'd read his datapad, which she wasn't about to tell him.

"That's strange," he mused quietly. "With you, I never know. That's what drew me in, why I wanted -" He coughed, looking embarrassed. "-why you're interesting."

"You think I'm interesting?" There was a faint smile on her face, and she struggled to keep it in check.

Garrus shrugged. "After a while, you get tired of trying to make sense of complicated things."

He couldn't look at her face. He knew that he had hurt her, and he refused to take responsibility for the pain he knew her seafoam eyes would show him.

"I should get back to those calibrations."

He heft her staring after him, her lips slightly parted, with hurt and confusion written on her features.

* * *

(A/N): Out of curiosity, what do you guys think of this Shepard? Do you like her or find her empathetic? Or is she annoying and over-emotional? This may influence how the fic turns out, so I'd really appreciate some feedback. Thanks for all the love!


	28. Chapter 28: A Match Made In Heaven

In the End of the World

Chapter 28: A Match Made In Heaven

* * *

"Shepard, I'm glad you stopped by."

Jane looked around the room, her expression unreadable. This office had changed a lot since the last time she'd seen it. The bloodstains on the wall and floor were totally gone. All the possessions Miranda had brought on board had been chucked out of the airlock soon after her death by the gleeful, if not slightly drunk, Tali and Jane. However, the room was not empty. It had been filled with research terminals and computers that Liara could use to gather intel and continue her studies on the Protheans. Her bedroom was in the back, a small space with just enough room for a bed and a bookshelf.

"Just checking up on my favorite Asari. What's new, Liara?"

"Well, we haven't had much time to chat since you picked me up on Mars, so I haven't told you my big news yet." She was practically beaming. "I uncovered the Shadow Broker and had him killed. I am the new Shadow Broker now."

Jane's grin was only a fraction smaller than her friend's. "That's awesome! Congratulations. I know you've been working on that for a long time now."

The Asari nodded gravely. "It is a vengeance I have waited years for."

"So, now you probably know everything about everyone, right?" Jane smirked. "What color underwear am I wearing?"

"I don't know things like that," Liara shook her head. "Only the stuff that would be on the ship's logs, on your personnel files, on your arrest warrant, in - what is that look for?"

One of Jane's eyebrows had gone up as she listened. "That was a joke, Liara."

"A joke? Ah, I see. Very funny. Although, you know, I do have a little more personal intel about you, now that you mention it."

"Really? What about?"

"The ship keeps logs of where everyone is at all times. EDI brought it to my attention that a certain Turian has spent many nights in your cabin with you. Also, you missed some of the Cerberus cameras. There's a vid of you and Garrus making out on the elevator between floors."

Jane's face froze, her mouth ajar and her eyes wide in horror. "Please tell me this is your weird way of trying to be funny to get me back."

Liara shook her head. "Nope, it's all right here." She tapped the screen on her computer.

"Delete it. Make it gone." She thought about it. "Actually send it up to my cabin first. I want to see what it looks like from a different... No, no, better be safe and just delete it."

Liara clicked a few buttons on her keyboard. "Alright. It's gone." She sat back in her chair and smiled up at Jane. "So, you and Garrus, huh? When did that happen?"

"Just a couple weeks before the Collector base."

"That must have been hard for you two, when you were locked up for so long right after starting a new relationship."

"He had no idea I was locked up because the Counsil lied about it," the commander growled.

Liara shook her head sadly. "I'm surprised you didn't kill Udina on the spot at Huerta."

"I almost did," Jane confessed with a sigh. "They're too valuable right now for me to kill them. At the moment, they're funneling millions of credits into my pocket to spend on ship upgrades, new armor, shiny guns, and the salary for a new crew member whose sole purpose on this ship is to feed my goddamn fish."

The Asari gave her a strange look.

"That was another joke. Although it would be nice if my fish would just... _not_ die."

"Still, it must have been hard to let him go."

"Yeah, it really was." Jane sighed. "Especially considering that the damn Counsil is part of the reason Garrus was so angry at me."

"Part?" Liara echoed questioningly.

"Well, yeah. Part. I didn't exactly need help on that end from the Counsil, because it turns out I'm great at pissing him off all on my own."

"What happened?"

"He wanted to talk to me right before we went into the Collector base. About our relationship. What it was, if it would still be there after the war... Those type of questions. And I have reason to believe he was going to tell me he loved me."

Liara smiled widely. "That's great!"

"Not as great as it sounds," Jane replied glumly. "I couldn't stand the thought of hearing those words before a suicide mission. What if I'd died in there after he had said those beautiful things to me? I know him, how long it takes him to finally open up to a new person. I wanted him to move on if I died. The thought of Garrus carrying my corpse out of that base or having to bury me is hard enough without him _loving_ me. So I told him to can it. Then we went on the mission, and then I was sent to prison for half a year. I have no idea where we stand now, but I know he's mad."

Liara watched the emotions play out on Jane's face as she spoke, then thought about it for a moment before making a conclusion.

"You need to talk to him."

She stared at Liara warily. "I don't think that's a good idea. Last time I talked to him... It ended badly."

"How do you expect to fix things between you two without laying it all out on the table? Even if you go your separate ways, at least then you'll know it's over. It must be hell not knowing what he's thinking, and I'm sure the same is true for him."

"No, it's just grand. I love that nauseous anxiety I get every time I see his face and wonder if it will ever smile at me again."

"Why would that be - oh - you're being sarcastic again, aren't you?"

Jane nodded. "At least you're catching on, now."

"Well, Shepard, all I can say about it is that avoiding each other will create more problems than it will solve, and if you really care about the relationship you two had, you'll try to talk to him."

"Yeah," Jane sighed. "You're right, I guess. Thanks for the talk."

"Anytime, my friend," Liara smiled softly.

Jane headed out of Liara's office and just as she was about to step onto the elevator, Specialist Traynor commed her.

"Commander, you have an Alliance package waiting for you in the lounge. The crew just got finished setting it up for you. I think you'll rather enjoy it."

Her voice was tinted with amusement, and Jane was instantly suspicious. What would they send her that required assembly? An attack drone? No, her crew wouldn't have assembled it. A stripper pole? She balked at the idea. It would certainly embarrass her, which she was sure the Council would enjoy. And the crew would, of course, set it up before telling her it existed so she wouldn't have the chance to throw it out of the airlock. But if she knew the Counsil, and of course she did after being repeatedly fucked over by them, they didn't have the sense of humor it would take to send her a stripper pole.

"Uh, thanks for telling me."

"That's my job, Commander."

Jane approached the room cautiously, taking cover when the doors slid open. No gunshots, no movement. She peaked around the corner, and when she saw it, her face filled with awe. She'd only been joking, but the Counsil had really done it.

There, arranged neatly on the shelves by her crew, stood row after row of every kind of alcohol imaginable.

"Booze," she whispered with wide eyes. "Beautiful booze."

* * *

(A/N): So now we know how the next chapter's going to start. If you're enjoying this, head over to my oneshots: the alternate universe about Garrus entitled "Damn War" and the FemShepxGarrus sexcapade called "Release." I love all my readers and reviewers! The sheer number of follows and favorites I've received is humbling. Thanks for all the support!


	29. Chapter 29: Honesty

In the End of the World

Chapter 29: Honesty

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She stumbled drunkenly into the doors of the Main Battery, leaning against them for support. Unfortunately, they were unlocked, and slid open automatically, causing her to fall on the ground with a muffled cry.

Garrus turned around and saw her face down on the ground.

"Shepard, did you just fall?"

He tried to help her up, but she swatted his hand away, slowly rising to her feet, wavering legs barely holding her upright. She glared at him.

"What do you want from me?"

"What? You're the one that came here."

"No," she sighed in exhasperation. "I mean what you said before. The thing about being complicated. Well, here I am. Being uncomplicated. What do you want to know about me?"

He looked her over. There was a bottle of liquid-something in her hand and a defiant stare on her face.

"Are you drunk?"

"Drunkenness and honesty go hand in hand."

"I'll take that as a yes," he said, some humor in his voice. "So what exactly brought you down here in your stupor to confront me?"

"To be uncomplicated. So ask me anything. I owe you that much."

"Alright, I'll play along. Where did you get the alcohol?"

She grinned. "Counsil's kissing my ass. They stocked the bar. Take anything you want, there's a bunch of dextro stuff."

"Why are they doing that?"

"When I ran into Udina, I threatened him. Told him if he wanted help with the Reapers, he'd better pucker up."

Garrus looked at her thoughtfully for a moment.

"That was when you went to the hospital, right? What did Alenko say to you?"

"Just apologized for being an ass," she shrugged.

"Did you two ever... Were you ever more than friends?"

Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "Kaiden and I? No. Not even close."

He looked down for a few moments, deep in thought.

"At the Collector base, you didn't take me with you. Did you do that because you were mad at me, or because it was awkward?"

"Neither."

"Then why?" His voice was a little louder. There wasn't a lot of obvious emotion in it, but his sub-harmonics gave away the anger and betrayal he felt.

"You're a leader. And my best friend, right next to Tali. I've told you before, you're the person I trust most on this ship - no, that's not right. I trust you more than anyone I've ever met before, and I needed you in charge while I was gone."

"If I'm so great and you trust me so much, why didn't you want to talk about us being together?"

"I kept telling you to stay positive, but I was sure I was going to die. I knew you wouldn't - I'd make sure of that. But if I had to, I would have laid down my life. For humanity, for the rest of the crew... For you. Especially you. I didn't want to have that talk, to make things official, and then die. I wanted you to be able to move on and to find someone to spend your life with. I don't ever want to be the reason you're unhappy. But I'm an idiot, and I did the wrong thing, and now you're pissed off."

Silent tears streamed down her ruddy cheeks.

"Shepard, stop. just -" he sighed heavily. "Don't cry over me."

"I'm not crying," she sniffled.

He reached out and pulled her tight against himself in a hug.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I don't know what to do."

"I need some time to think things over, okay?"

"It's okay if you hate me." Her reply was muffled agains his armor. "I don't blame you."

"Hey. Look at me. I could never hate you. Okay? I just need to think about what you said before we start... Well, we'll get to that later." He kissed her forehead. "Get some rest, Shepard. I'll be here, like always, if you need me."

* * *

(A/N): I know it's a really short update and I know I haven't updated for about a week. If you can't handle the wait, go read my other stories! My new fic from Garrus' perspective, "The Common Enemy", will be getting frequent updates like this one usually does. In fact, I like it a bit better than this one already... So go read it!


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